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Adult Daughter Causing Heartache
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<blockquote data-quote="Seeking Peace" data-source="post: 666085" data-attributes="member: 19374"><p>Em,</p><p></p><p>Welcome. Yes, you are correct, you're not alone. All of us have similar experiences with our child. All of us are in different places of acceptance. </p><p></p><p>I actually log on here multiple times a day just to make it to the next minute! </p><p></p><p>It's hard! No doubt about it! While all of us must do what we feel comfortable with, I can share with you what we did. </p><p></p><p>I cannot expect my child to ever respect or value me, my feelings, or my belongings if I continuously erase and redraw the line. </p><p></p><p>We've had problems for years. Once my daughter turned 18, they seemed to escalate. Like your daughter, mine was able to secure multiple jobs, but within days would quit. She'd make up such extraordinary stories, so believable, that you'd question what you already knew to be truth! This has been her MMO with work ever since. In two years, she's easily held 20 different jobs. </p><p></p><p>My daughter has also left windows unlocked and come back into the house. She has stolen numerous things from everyone. The last time being money out of my wallet (even though she had her own).</p><p></p><p>My daughter also tends to deviate towards the "bad crowd", but I have learned that it's not the crowd that changes my daughter, she is just like them. That's why she continues to return to them. Others their age are on a totally different path at this moment in time, whether it's school, work, etc. Those doing the right things really don't want to be affiliated with those who aren't. </p><p></p><p>My daughter no longer lives at home. This past time was truly the final time. 1) nothing changed. 2) she failed to keep up her side of the deal, and 3) it was not only damaging my marriage, but directly breaking me down. It was the fourth time in 2 years.</p><p></p><p>My daughter has NO regard or respect for me, her father, or her sibling. Cussing at us, stealing from us, lying about us, and to us, is NOT acceptable. I love my daughter. I absolutely hate things being like this. But I'd be a fool to roll over and allow her to march back into my home again.</p><p></p><p>If she makes it, it will be because she made it. Echoing what everyone eventually learns and God willing finds acceptance in, it's not ours to control. That's one of the hardest parts...taking care of them their entire lives, and then cutting the cord so abruptly. While it seems that way, in truth, they've all had endless opportunities to excel under our helping hands.</p><p></p><p>Some people have to learn the hard way. As difficult as it is to watch your own child do that, it's much more difficult to allow them to not become their OWN person in life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Seeking Peace, post: 666085, member: 19374"] Em, Welcome. Yes, you are correct, you're not alone. All of us have similar experiences with our child. All of us are in different places of acceptance. I actually log on here multiple times a day just to make it to the next minute! It's hard! No doubt about it! While all of us must do what we feel comfortable with, I can share with you what we did. I cannot expect my child to ever respect or value me, my feelings, or my belongings if I continuously erase and redraw the line. We've had problems for years. Once my daughter turned 18, they seemed to escalate. Like your daughter, mine was able to secure multiple jobs, but within days would quit. She'd make up such extraordinary stories, so believable, that you'd question what you already knew to be truth! This has been her MMO with work ever since. In two years, she's easily held 20 different jobs. My daughter has also left windows unlocked and come back into the house. She has stolen numerous things from everyone. The last time being money out of my wallet (even though she had her own). My daughter also tends to deviate towards the "bad crowd", but I have learned that it's not the crowd that changes my daughter, she is just like them. That's why she continues to return to them. Others their age are on a totally different path at this moment in time, whether it's school, work, etc. Those doing the right things really don't want to be affiliated with those who aren't. My daughter no longer lives at home. This past time was truly the final time. 1) nothing changed. 2) she failed to keep up her side of the deal, and 3) it was not only damaging my marriage, but directly breaking me down. It was the fourth time in 2 years. My daughter has NO regard or respect for me, her father, or her sibling. Cussing at us, stealing from us, lying about us, and to us, is NOT acceptable. I love my daughter. I absolutely hate things being like this. But I'd be a fool to roll over and allow her to march back into my home again. If she makes it, it will be because she made it. Echoing what everyone eventually learns and God willing finds acceptance in, it's not ours to control. That's one of the hardest parts...taking care of them their entire lives, and then cutting the cord so abruptly. While it seems that way, in truth, they've all had endless opportunities to excel under our helping hands. Some people have to learn the hard way. As difficult as it is to watch your own child do that, it's much more difficult to allow them to not become their OWN person in life. [/QUOTE]
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