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Adult daughter stole entire life savings
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<blockquote data-quote="jeanne in CA" data-source="post: 627828" data-attributes="member: 18036"><p>"DammitJanet", yes she is inventive. I had no idea how to do all this stuff and neither did the dectective. I laughed one day when I told him I learned more every day and he responded that he learned more just by reading my emails. We are very lucky that we have him. </p><p> </p><p>Of course, she couldn’t steal all our money without repeatedly covering up her actions. So, she forged hundreds of letters, emails, documents and bank statements to quell the perfectly legitimate outcry from banks, stores, mortgage companies, credit card agencies, and utility companies from whom she was routinely intercepting our checks and payments---to calm our rising fears that something was seriously amiss---so that she could continue to steal with impunity. She impersonated banking officials in online, in voice mail, and in regular correspondence. She spent literally years of time stealing, spending and covering up, all while pretending to be the loving daughter who was gravely concerned our financial problems and my increasing mental anguish over the discrepancies between reality and her furnished and totally fictitious reports that cleverly covered her ongoing theft. She did all these things, not out of necessity, not out of deprivation, not even out of hate and revenge. Amazingly, until faced with absolute proof of her duplicity at the end, we never suspected her. So much for mother's intuition. </p><p>She knew she had a safety net with us. She knew if she had needed money she could have asked us and we would have given it to her. However, she also knew, because of the values we tried to teach her, that we would not have financed a lifestyle replete with designer bags and clothes, $1000 hair appointments, and regular trips to Las Vegas, all while she refused to go to school or work. I believe that in the final analysis, it will be determined that she stole simply because she wanted to. I believe this is a classic case of a young woman who had everything; beauty, brains, a devoted husband, gorgeous baby, and parents who loved her with everything they had. It was simply not enough. </p><p><strong>Who was she really? </strong>Even now knowing what I know about her, I still struggle to understand how she could lie so much and so easily. For example, I have learned that she constantly lied about her whereabouts. She staarted her own photography business which I knew to be true because I met some of her clients. However, I later found out that she wasn’t at photography gigs when she said she was, yet she would describe the people she met, what they paid her, and how happy the work made her. </p><p> </p><p>She claimed to us and to others that she graduated from our State University. I have obtained undisputed proof that she never even attended a class there. Yet, she told me about specific classes she was taking, told me about a call she received from their administrative office asking her to come in and pick up her diploma, and told me specifically which of her classes she had taken on-line. She told me about how frustrated she was when she “had to sit out a semester” because “budget cuts at the university meant not all of the classes she needed to graduate were being offered then”. She even lied about how she met her husband, telling me she met him while they were both attending the local community college. In actuality, they met at the local mall. So many of her lies were totally unnecessary. I simply cannot wrap my head around it all. </p><p>Her life was full of layered complexities. Everything she did was calculated to benefit her and support a Kim Kardashian-type nouveau-riche lifestyle---AND keep up her multiple pretenses of being the good wife, good mother, good daughter, good employee, good family member, and over all good person. All the while she was living with a complete lack of conscience, empathy or remorse. Or, if she felt any of those things, the feelings were never strong enough to stop her.</p><p> </p><p>As for me, yes, I worked in the social services area for 30 years and was a state deputy director for 14 of those years. Very stressful job that now seems like a day at the beach in comparison. Once retired, I started teaching at the university part time and writing. Since then have published two books and numerous articles, all on topics relative to workplace issues. The third book was in the works but, as you can imagine, has been put on hold. As for you, county government is a tough gig. Caught between the state, the feds, and the public they serve. My hat is off to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jeanne in CA, post: 627828, member: 18036"] "DammitJanet", yes she is inventive. I had no idea how to do all this stuff and neither did the dectective. I laughed one day when I told him I learned more every day and he responded that he learned more just by reading my emails. We are very lucky that we have him. Of course, she couldn’t steal all our money without repeatedly covering up her actions. So, she forged hundreds of letters, emails, documents and bank statements to quell the perfectly legitimate outcry from banks, stores, mortgage companies, credit card agencies, and utility companies from whom she was routinely intercepting our checks and payments---to calm our rising fears that something was seriously amiss---so that she could continue to steal with impunity. She impersonated banking officials in online, in voice mail, and in regular correspondence. She spent literally years of time stealing, spending and covering up, all while pretending to be the loving daughter who was gravely concerned our financial problems and my increasing mental anguish over the discrepancies between reality and her furnished and totally fictitious reports that cleverly covered her ongoing theft. She did all these things, not out of necessity, not out of deprivation, not even out of hate and revenge. Amazingly, until faced with absolute proof of her duplicity at the end, we never suspected her. So much for mother's intuition. She knew she had a safety net with us. She knew if she had needed money she could have asked us and we would have given it to her. However, she also knew, because of the values we tried to teach her, that we would not have financed a lifestyle replete with designer bags and clothes, $1000 hair appointments, and regular trips to Las Vegas, all while she refused to go to school or work. I believe that in the final analysis, it will be determined that she stole simply because she wanted to. I believe this is a classic case of a young woman who had everything; beauty, brains, a devoted husband, gorgeous baby, and parents who loved her with everything they had. It was simply not enough. [B]Who was she really? [/B]Even now knowing what I know about her, I still struggle to understand how she could lie so much and so easily. For example, I have learned that she constantly lied about her whereabouts. She staarted her own photography business which I knew to be true because I met some of her clients. However, I later found out that she wasn’t at photography gigs when she said she was, yet she would describe the people she met, what they paid her, and how happy the work made her. She claimed to us and to others that she graduated from our State University. I have obtained undisputed proof that she never even attended a class there. Yet, she told me about specific classes she was taking, told me about a call she received from their administrative office asking her to come in and pick up her diploma, and told me specifically which of her classes she had taken on-line. She told me about how frustrated she was when she “had to sit out a semester” because “budget cuts at the university meant not all of the classes she needed to graduate were being offered then”. She even lied about how she met her husband, telling me she met him while they were both attending the local community college. In actuality, they met at the local mall. So many of her lies were totally unnecessary. I simply cannot wrap my head around it all. Her life was full of layered complexities. Everything she did was calculated to benefit her and support a Kim Kardashian-type nouveau-riche lifestyle---AND keep up her multiple pretenses of being the good wife, good mother, good daughter, good employee, good family member, and over all good person. All the while she was living with a complete lack of conscience, empathy or remorse. Or, if she felt any of those things, the feelings were never strong enough to stop her. As for me, yes, I worked in the social services area for 30 years and was a state deputy director for 14 of those years. Very stressful job that now seems like a day at the beach in comparison. Once retired, I started teaching at the university part time and writing. Since then have published two books and numerous articles, all on topics relative to workplace issues. The third book was in the works but, as you can imagine, has been put on hold. As for you, county government is a tough gig. Caught between the state, the feds, and the public they serve. My hat is off to you. [/QUOTE]
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