Jeanne, I agree there is truly no way to really prepare for a situation like this.
I have found it helpful to write things down. Like what I would say if he calls, texts or comes to the door. What my next steps are. What I will and won't do or say.
Then, I even write my possible responses to a situation I didn't expect: "I don't know. I'll have to think about that."
I have found that writing things down centers me, keeps me calmer in the here and now, and gives me something to grab if/when something happens.
I write it down, print it out and put copies in several places, like on my bathroom mirror, in my office on the wall beside my computer and in my purse, so I have access to something when the craziness begins.
And, there is always something I haven't counted on. I now bow to the overwhelming totality of my son's addiction and the cunning, baffling insidiousness of that disease.
My son is the vehicle through which it operates, saying and doing things I truly could never have imagined in all of my life. Like you, with your daughter.
The pain just seems to go on and on, doesn't it? I can hear you "waiting" on the legal system, while at the same time you are "waiting" on what your daughter will do next. All of this waiting for the other shoe to drop is a pathway to PTSD.
Who can imagine some of the things that have happened, and who can imagine what might happen next? My son's addiction is always three steps ahead of me. And today, instead of frantically trying to run around getting ahead of it, I bow to it, and I am working every day to just get out of the way. Otherwise, it will mow me down too.
Having some sort of written plan helps me put it aside for a time. For an hour, a day, a few days. And then I can go on with my own life for a while.
Big hugs to you today. I am reading along, following along with you, and I have huge empathy and a very warm heart for you and your husband. We get it here. We are here for you both, Jeanne. I am praying that something good will come from all of this, for you, and sooner rather than later!
