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Adult daughter stole entire life savings
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 628950" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Jeanne, Recovering calls this: FOG</p><p></p><p>I found it helped me to name it when I found myself tumbled into it. If I could know where I was, then I could know that, one day, I would come out of it.</p><p></p><p>That always involved a great deal of pain ~ an insurmountable kind and amount of pain. </p><p></p><p>That is why we pop ourselves into the FOG.</p><p></p><p>So we can function in spite of a betrayal so overwhelming we would not be able to stand up at all, if we were to face it head on.</p><p></p><p>Still, it helped me to acknowledge that that's where I was.</p><p></p><p>It's an almost timeless place.</p><p></p><p>I can go back and touch those places to this day.</p><p></p><p>It is a blessing, a survival mechanism, that I am so grateful we have. When you are ready, when you have time, then it will clear.</p><p></p><p>When you are strong enough to bear it.</p><p></p><p>I am sad for you Jeanne, for the pain of it.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I understand. </p><p></p><p>When we brought difficult child daughter in from the streets, I wondered which of the ten thousand highly emotional responses would prevail.</p><p></p><p>I loved her, Jeanne.</p><p></p><p>I just loved her.</p><p></p><p>But it didn't change any of the ways I felt about the things I knew she had done.</p><p></p><p>I was awake.</p><p></p><p>That is what will happen to you too, I think, when you finally see your child again.</p><p></p><p>Put that fear away for this time. You will handle that time when you see her again with sincerity and courage. That is why this is so hard for all of us, here. We are, for the most part, the mothers.</p><p></p><p>At that deepest, heart level where we love our children more than ourselves...I don't know. There just isn't any way to incorporate what is happening.</p><p></p><p>And all that is left then is love.</p><p></p><p>True.</p><p></p><p>That is what I felt for my child.</p><p></p><p>But it wasn't blinding.</p><p></p><p>I know what she'd done, knew who she'd declared herself to be.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Betrayal kills something inside us, prevents us from growing past it, because for the person to have come close enough to who we are to have betrayed us at the deepest level, that is how much we loved and trusted them.</p><p></p><p>How does that go?</p><p></p><p>We only want those around us as we are dying that we trusted with our mysteries while yet we lived.</p><p></p><p>Something like that.</p><p></p><p>Elie Wiesel, I think.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>She will survive it, Jeanne.</p><p></p><p>In some strange way, she will be grateful that it is over, that the truth has come out, that she can begin again.</p><p></p><p>And though you may not know it now? You will still love her.</p><p></p><p>So you will have to be very careful, during that time.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes.</p><p></p><p>Boom and boom and boom, draining every ounce of strength or courage or hope right out of us.</p><p></p><p>Somehow, we keep loving, keep going, keep ourselves open and alive and growing.</p><p></p><p>It's a miracle that we can do that, really.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>How shaming, Jeanne. I am so sorry these things happened.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I think that is how all moms see their children. That is why a mom can believe her child every good thing, forever. It is also why we can't just stop believing in them.</p><p></p><p>Those are the dreams that have to die, for us to function in reality.</p><p></p><p>I don't know why it has to be so hard.</p><p></p><p>I always say this. You may have heard it before, but I really do believe it, Jeanne:</p><p></p><p>I have been a fool for lesser things.</p><p></p><p>I don't know who said that first. Someone very important, I'm sure. I always hear that Billy Joel song when I thing that, though.</p><p></p><p>Remember?</p><p></p><p></p><p>[media=youtube]PzFVVq2Sibw[/media]</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Oh, Jeanne.</p><p></p><p>It is more than we can do, just to open our eyes to what has happened.</p><p></p><p>Thank Heaven you did realize what was happening to you. </p><p></p><p>Such terrible things, Jeanne.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 628950, member: 17461"] Jeanne, Recovering calls this: FOG I found it helped me to name it when I found myself tumbled into it. If I could know where I was, then I could know that, one day, I would come out of it. That always involved a great deal of pain ~ an insurmountable kind and amount of pain. That is why we pop ourselves into the FOG. So we can function in spite of a betrayal so overwhelming we would not be able to stand up at all, if we were to face it head on. Still, it helped me to acknowledge that that's where I was. It's an almost timeless place. I can go back and touch those places to this day. It is a blessing, a survival mechanism, that I am so grateful we have. When you are ready, when you have time, then it will clear. When you are strong enough to bear it. I am sad for you Jeanne, for the pain of it. I understand. When we brought difficult child daughter in from the streets, I wondered which of the ten thousand highly emotional responses would prevail. I loved her, Jeanne. I just loved her. But it didn't change any of the ways I felt about the things I knew she had done. I was awake. That is what will happen to you too, I think, when you finally see your child again. Put that fear away for this time. You will handle that time when you see her again with sincerity and courage. That is why this is so hard for all of us, here. We are, for the most part, the mothers. At that deepest, heart level where we love our children more than ourselves...I don't know. There just isn't any way to incorporate what is happening. And all that is left then is love. True. That is what I felt for my child. But it wasn't blinding. I know what she'd done, knew who she'd declared herself to be. Betrayal kills something inside us, prevents us from growing past it, because for the person to have come close enough to who we are to have betrayed us at the deepest level, that is how much we loved and trusted them. How does that go? We only want those around us as we are dying that we trusted with our mysteries while yet we lived. Something like that. Elie Wiesel, I think. She will survive it, Jeanne. In some strange way, she will be grateful that it is over, that the truth has come out, that she can begin again. And though you may not know it now? You will still love her. So you will have to be very careful, during that time. Yes. Boom and boom and boom, draining every ounce of strength or courage or hope right out of us. Somehow, we keep loving, keep going, keep ourselves open and alive and growing. It's a miracle that we can do that, really. How shaming, Jeanne. I am so sorry these things happened. I think that is how all moms see their children. That is why a mom can believe her child every good thing, forever. It is also why we can't just stop believing in them. Those are the dreams that have to die, for us to function in reality. I don't know why it has to be so hard. I always say this. You may have heard it before, but I really do believe it, Jeanne: I have been a fool for lesser things. I don't know who said that first. Someone very important, I'm sure. I always hear that Billy Joel song when I thing that, though. Remember? [media=youtube]PzFVVq2Sibw[/media] Oh, Jeanne. It is more than we can do, just to open our eyes to what has happened. Thank Heaven you did realize what was happening to you. Such terrible things, Jeanne. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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