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Adult daughter stole entire life savings
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<blockquote data-quote="jeanne in CA" data-source="post: 629116" data-attributes="member: 18036"><p>Witzend, I had to laugh at the eyebrow pencil story. That is so typical and so frustrating. The only difference is that my daughter would have taken a picture of it under the dresser where she said it was and then somehow changed the date stamp on the picture to show it was there precisely at the time when I said it wasn't. </p><p> </p><p>The coin collection story made me sick because I totally understand how awful that must have been and how much it still hurts. It is simply incomprehensible. </p><p> </p><p>Tiredof33- I understand how hard it is for parents to press charges, especially if drugs and alcohol are contributing factor in the conduct. Luckily, we were not faced with a difficult decision. We figured first, we had to press charges or pay the bills. Paying the bills was not an option because she had stolen everything we had. Second, if she went on to steal from others and we did not press charges, we would be complicit in that additional theft. Third, she just needs to be held accountable. Of course, given that she had stolen so MUCH money, we didn't have the agony of trying to decide if we could really go through with it. The shame and humilliation are unbearable as I am sure you know. I hope her husband does the right thing, given that he is a cop. Only time will tell. On this for sure, she is a master manipulator but I cannot imagine anyone falling for more of her lies once he hears the entire story from the police.</p><p> </p><p>Pasajes4- I think there is an element of our difficult children thinking we are stupid, but I also think they believe they can talk their way out of most anything. But even more shocking in our case is the fact that any questionable behavioral evidence, (and there really was not much if any), was totally overwhelmed by the physical evidence she provided showing that all our money was safe and sound where it was supposed to be. </p><p> </p><p>COM- I can really identify with your son's denial even in the face of physical evidence. We are facing the same thing. I am not sure even jail will turn them around but at least they are somewhaat safe and not harming others. You are so right, we are truly no match but I am going to do everything I can to get the right outcome for everyone. </p><p> </p><p>Below is yet just one more example of my charming difficult child:</p><p> </p><p><strong>Our granddaughter's birth (late 2011) -My daughter</strong> and I spent hours upon hours preparing for the baby’s birth. Her husband was working so she shopped for baby things and decorated the baby’s room. They knew they were expecting a girl so she and I set about getting the room furnished and decorated. I made pastel pink curtains for the large window with rhinestone tiebacks. I decorated a mirror to hang over the changing table. My husband brought over the beautiful crib we had bought for our daughter when she was born and set it up in the room for them. I made the quilt and bumper pads as well as the pads for the rocker she and her husband had bought for that room. Our daughter wanted a pink tutu for around the bottom of the crib so I bought the fabric and made that as well. They needed a dresser for that room so I found one on Craigs list and she and I drove an hour one way to pick it up. I am a porcelain doll maker so let my daughter pick out the doll of her choice to put in the room along with a decorative pink and gold china plate that belonged to my mother. My daughter and I also picked out yards and yards of flannel so I could make monogrammed baby blankets and burp cloths for the baby. </p><p>Thanksgiving fell on the 24th of November that year. I cooked dinner for about 23 of my husband's family and everyone joined us that afternoon. Right after we ate that evening, our daughter said she wasn’t feeling well so she and her husband left to stop by the hospital and see if she might be in labor. She called me about 8 pm and said they had admitted her. We shooed everyone out of the house and drove directly to the hospital. My daughter had asked me if I could be in the delivery room with her and her husband. The baby was born around seven in the morning. She was a beautiful baby and everyone was so happy. That night, my husband and I went back to the hospital and brought a full Thanksgiving dinner to the new parents, complete with linen napkins and china and my best silver. We watched the baby in the room with them while they ate their meal.</p><p>After they came home, I stayed with them for a couple of days to let them rest and to help out at the house. </p><p>After I discovered our daughter's ongoing financial and identity theft, I was able to see that in less of a month after giving birth,she was back to stealing money from her dad’s and my accounts. Starting with December 20, 2011, she wrote herself a check from my checking account and cashed it. On December 23, 2011, while she and and her husband and the baby were in PA with us for Christmas, she took out a “CashnetUSA” payday loan in her dad's name. On December 24th, we all went together to Christmas Eve services at our family church. Regardless of all the ongoing stresses 2011 had brought, I remember feeling so blessed to have my daughter, son-in-law- and new baby with us that night. Christmas Day was a Sunday. Our annual family Christmas party was on Monday so she took that day off from stealing our money. By Tuesday, December 27, 2011, she was back at it. She went online and took out an “Everest Cash Advance” payday loan in her dad's name.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jeanne in CA, post: 629116, member: 18036"] Witzend, I had to laugh at the eyebrow pencil story. That is so typical and so frustrating. The only difference is that my daughter would have taken a picture of it under the dresser where she said it was and then somehow changed the date stamp on the picture to show it was there precisely at the time when I said it wasn't. The coin collection story made me sick because I totally understand how awful that must have been and how much it still hurts. It is simply incomprehensible. Tiredof33- I understand how hard it is for parents to press charges, especially if drugs and alcohol are contributing factor in the conduct. Luckily, we were not faced with a difficult decision. We figured first, we had to press charges or pay the bills. Paying the bills was not an option because she had stolen everything we had. Second, if she went on to steal from others and we did not press charges, we would be complicit in that additional theft. Third, she just needs to be held accountable. Of course, given that she had stolen so MUCH money, we didn't have the agony of trying to decide if we could really go through with it. The shame and humilliation are unbearable as I am sure you know. I hope her husband does the right thing, given that he is a cop. Only time will tell. On this for sure, she is a master manipulator but I cannot imagine anyone falling for more of her lies once he hears the entire story from the police. Pasajes4- I think there is an element of our difficult children thinking we are stupid, but I also think they believe they can talk their way out of most anything. But even more shocking in our case is the fact that any questionable behavioral evidence, (and there really was not much if any), was totally overwhelmed by the physical evidence she provided showing that all our money was safe and sound where it was supposed to be. COM- I can really identify with your son's denial even in the face of physical evidence. We are facing the same thing. I am not sure even jail will turn them around but at least they are somewhaat safe and not harming others. You are so right, we are truly no match but I am going to do everything I can to get the right outcome for everyone. Below is yet just one more example of my charming difficult child: [B]Our granddaughter's birth (late 2011) -My daughter[/B] and I spent hours upon hours preparing for the baby’s birth. Her husband was working so she shopped for baby things and decorated the baby’s room. They knew they were expecting a girl so she and I set about getting the room furnished and decorated. I made pastel pink curtains for the large window with rhinestone tiebacks. I decorated a mirror to hang over the changing table. My husband brought over the beautiful crib we had bought for our daughter when she was born and set it up in the room for them. I made the quilt and bumper pads as well as the pads for the rocker she and her husband had bought for that room. Our daughter wanted a pink tutu for around the bottom of the crib so I bought the fabric and made that as well. They needed a dresser for that room so I found one on Craigs list and she and I drove an hour one way to pick it up. I am a porcelain doll maker so let my daughter pick out the doll of her choice to put in the room along with a decorative pink and gold china plate that belonged to my mother. My daughter and I also picked out yards and yards of flannel so I could make monogrammed baby blankets and burp cloths for the baby. Thanksgiving fell on the 24th of November that year. I cooked dinner for about 23 of my husband's family and everyone joined us that afternoon. Right after we ate that evening, our daughter said she wasn’t feeling well so she and her husband left to stop by the hospital and see if she might be in labor. She called me about 8 pm and said they had admitted her. We shooed everyone out of the house and drove directly to the hospital. My daughter had asked me if I could be in the delivery room with her and her husband. The baby was born around seven in the morning. She was a beautiful baby and everyone was so happy. That night, my husband and I went back to the hospital and brought a full Thanksgiving dinner to the new parents, complete with linen napkins and china and my best silver. We watched the baby in the room with them while they ate their meal. After they came home, I stayed with them for a couple of days to let them rest and to help out at the house. After I discovered our daughter's ongoing financial and identity theft, I was able to see that in less of a month after giving birth,she was back to stealing money from her dad’s and my accounts. Starting with December 20, 2011, she wrote herself a check from my checking account and cashed it. On December 23, 2011, while she and and her husband and the baby were in PA with us for Christmas, she took out a “CashnetUSA” payday loan in her dad's name. On December 24th, we all went together to Christmas Eve services at our family church. Regardless of all the ongoing stresses 2011 had brought, I remember feeling so blessed to have my daughter, son-in-law- and new baby with us that night. Christmas Day was a Sunday. Our annual family Christmas party was on Monday so she took that day off from stealing our money. By Tuesday, December 27, 2011, she was back at it. She went online and took out an “Everest Cash Advance” payday loan in her dad's name. [/QUOTE]
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