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Parent Emeritus
Adult daughter update... I will never get it. Ever.
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<blockquote data-quote="sooooo tired" data-source="post: 686759" data-attributes="member: 18764"><p>Oh WOW....If I didn't know it this is a cookie cutter scenario of my situation. My daughter was a good kid, she excelled in sports broke long jump record, was a flag girl in the band, was senior attendant, had alot of good friends. But same thing....she got pregnant her senior year, although she did finish high school. She married the father and they battled it out for 2 years, although he was a good guy, she just developed a TON of mental issues. I believe like you that she is adhd and borderline. Then she got involved with a married man and had a baby with him. Of course he promised to leave his wife and marry her LOL !!!! So she stayed the other woman for about 5 years. Then she met a decent guy, they got married and she had baby #3 a little girl. Well that lasted around 3 years and they split....she doesn't even have contact with her daughter, who is now 12. She is living with her dad and his new wife and just had a new baby sister, although I know she is well taken care of and loved, I feel a void, and do not understand how my daughter can just pretend she doesn't exist. Soooooo then she meets the worst one ever no job didn't finish high school, she knows him for 3 months and oops pregnant again baby # 4 and daddy # 4. My daughter turned 40 in feb. She decided to go to school, got all signed up and was 3 weeks in to it when baby daddy # 4 moves her way out of the city where she can't get to school because she has no car. He is very controlling and mean to her. Everything is HIS and if she makes him mad he throws her out of the house. So now she is living with a friend and ignoring her son, who is the best kid in the world!! And my 4 year old grandson is being tossed around to whoever will watch him. I have him on the weekend. He always looks like a street kid when I pick him up. He admittedly doesn't get baths because his lazy father won't fix the bathtub. It just breaks my heart!!!! My daughter keeps trying to weasel her way into my house, so she can sit on her butt and freeload off of me. But trust me that will NEVER happen!!! I have at least come that far! I have come to the conclusion that after 20 some years of letting her torment me that I have to stop or my life is going to be hell, and I am going to be 63 and I would like to enjoy my time not spend it worrying over things I can't change!! Don't get me wrong I have a ways to go also, but this site is my lifeline. I wish I would have met all of these awesome women years ago!! Like they tell me you have to think about yourself, you have raised your kids, it is now your turn! I understand about the grandkids.....it hurts alot!! But I do what I can do and PRAY!!!! that god will watch over them!! I am not in a position to raise another child. I work full time and just couldn't physically handle it! But she has made her choices and she is going to have to figure this out on her own!!! I am so glad I read your post. I can relate soooooo well!! Take card and keep in touch!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="sooooo tired, post: 686759, member: 18764"] Oh WOW....If I didn't know it this is a cookie cutter scenario of my situation. My daughter was a good kid, she excelled in sports broke long jump record, was a flag girl in the band, was senior attendant, had alot of good friends. But same thing....she got pregnant her senior year, although she did finish high school. She married the father and they battled it out for 2 years, although he was a good guy, she just developed a TON of mental issues. I believe like you that she is adhd and borderline. Then she got involved with a married man and had a baby with him. Of course he promised to leave his wife and marry her LOL !!!! So she stayed the other woman for about 5 years. Then she met a decent guy, they got married and she had baby #3 a little girl. Well that lasted around 3 years and they split....she doesn't even have contact with her daughter, who is now 12. She is living with her dad and his new wife and just had a new baby sister, although I know she is well taken care of and loved, I feel a void, and do not understand how my daughter can just pretend she doesn't exist. Soooooo then she meets the worst one ever no job didn't finish high school, she knows him for 3 months and oops pregnant again baby # 4 and daddy # 4. My daughter turned 40 in feb. She decided to go to school, got all signed up and was 3 weeks in to it when baby daddy # 4 moves her way out of the city where she can't get to school because she has no car. He is very controlling and mean to her. Everything is HIS and if she makes him mad he throws her out of the house. So now she is living with a friend and ignoring her son, who is the best kid in the world!! And my 4 year old grandson is being tossed around to whoever will watch him. I have him on the weekend. He always looks like a street kid when I pick him up. He admittedly doesn't get baths because his lazy father won't fix the bathtub. It just breaks my heart!!!! My daughter keeps trying to weasel her way into my house, so she can sit on her butt and freeload off of me. But trust me that will NEVER happen!!! I have at least come that far! I have come to the conclusion that after 20 some years of letting her torment me that I have to stop or my life is going to be hell, and I am going to be 63 and I would like to enjoy my time not spend it worrying over things I can't change!! Don't get me wrong I have a ways to go also, but this site is my lifeline. I wish I would have met all of these awesome women years ago!! Like they tell me you have to think about yourself, you have raised your kids, it is now your turn! I understand about the grandkids.....it hurts alot!! But I do what I can do and PRAY!!!! that god will watch over them!! I am not in a position to raise another child. I work full time and just couldn't physically handle it! But she has made her choices and she is going to have to figure this out on her own!!! I am so glad I read your post. I can relate soooooo well!! Take card and keep in touch!! [/QUOTE]
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Adult daughter update... I will never get it. Ever.
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