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Adult sibling living with my family
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 701224" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I think you need to attend some NAMI or Alanon meetings. He is abusing you, and his threats of suicide are nothing but emotional blackmail. If he EVER threatens suicide, call 911 and INSIST they take him for evaluation. Suicide is not a joke, and you cannot prevent it if he chooses it. You CAN insist he not use the threat of it to abuse you and your wife and daughter. Don't EVER let him watch your daughter, not for a minute or an hour - you don't know what an addict will do.</p><p></p><p>Give him rules and 30 days to get out of your home. Having him there is not healthy for you or your wife or your daughter. You have done enough, no matter what he says. It is time for him to "man up" and quit taking advantage of you, period. And he IS taking advantage of you. Be prepared for the manipulation to go into high gear when you set rules and a move out date. Don't give in to it, no matter what he does or threatens. He couldn't even help with your ill mother, what good does he contribute?</p><p></p><p>I have a daughter with physical problems who lives at home at 21. She doesn't have a regular job, because due to her physical problems working is very hard. She is good natured, does all she can around the house, and is working to get better. She CONTRIBUTES what she can, as often as she can. She will often work herself to the point of making her illness worse, and she does it so that she can help out, even when we ask her to take it easier. The difference between her and your brother is that my daughter works to help out, to contribute and to make life easier. She doesn't focus on herself, and she doesn't ignore the rules, ever. She knows that if she did, our patience would be short as she is an adult. </p><p></p><p>NAMI has classes for relatives of the mentally ill, and alanon is for families of those with drug/alcohol problems. Both can help you with this and give you support. It is time to reclaim your home, stop walking on eggshells, and get your brother to stop freeloading off of you while making your home unpleasant.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 701224, member: 1233"] I think you need to attend some NAMI or Alanon meetings. He is abusing you, and his threats of suicide are nothing but emotional blackmail. If he EVER threatens suicide, call 911 and INSIST they take him for evaluation. Suicide is not a joke, and you cannot prevent it if he chooses it. You CAN insist he not use the threat of it to abuse you and your wife and daughter. Don't EVER let him watch your daughter, not for a minute or an hour - you don't know what an addict will do. Give him rules and 30 days to get out of your home. Having him there is not healthy for you or your wife or your daughter. You have done enough, no matter what he says. It is time for him to "man up" and quit taking advantage of you, period. And he IS taking advantage of you. Be prepared for the manipulation to go into high gear when you set rules and a move out date. Don't give in to it, no matter what he does or threatens. He couldn't even help with your ill mother, what good does he contribute? I have a daughter with physical problems who lives at home at 21. She doesn't have a regular job, because due to her physical problems working is very hard. She is good natured, does all she can around the house, and is working to get better. She CONTRIBUTES what she can, as often as she can. She will often work herself to the point of making her illness worse, and she does it so that she can help out, even when we ask her to take it easier. The difference between her and your brother is that my daughter works to help out, to contribute and to make life easier. She doesn't focus on herself, and she doesn't ignore the rules, ever. She knows that if she did, our patience would be short as she is an adult. NAMI has classes for relatives of the mentally ill, and alanon is for families of those with drug/alcohol problems. Both can help you with this and give you support. It is time to reclaim your home, stop walking on eggshells, and get your brother to stop freeloading off of you while making your home unpleasant. [/QUOTE]
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