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Substance Abuse
Adult son living at home breaking house rules
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<blockquote data-quote="AddictionSucks123" data-source="post: 764133" data-attributes="member: 31168"><p>Thank you New Leaf for your responses. The pain that you must have for your two daughters, while your other 3 thrives must be more mind altering that anything else. I understand that schism of feeling -you celebrate the ones who are thriving but are in such dire pain for the addicted ones - sometimes all those feelings at once.</p><p></p><p>My son is still living in motels and trying to find a place to live. We don't know if that uncertainty is making him drink and use cocaine more but he is now using daily. Nothing we can do but hope that he finds strength to move forward. </p><p></p><p>We also understand, this may be a long, long road ahead of him and we have decided to be loving and caring to him and respond positively toward him but we have to work on our own mental health and physical health. It is so difficult to do, isn't it? When it feels so natural to give and shelter and provide. I feel especially like a fraud of a mother for having him live outside in motels suffering while I pine for him in the comfort of my own home. However, I also understand intellectually, he is an adult with mental and emotional issues that he will need to address, which fuels his need to numb and that only he can fix the issue. </p><p></p><p>Heard a quote today, about how loved ones; family member and friends, all bear the brunt of the pain of addiction straight on without any drugs to numb our pain, while the addict can't ever understand that pain caused by them. Yes, they will not understand that pain. We have nothing to blunt the full force of pain so we try to detach. I am doing a terrible job at detaching at this time. </p><p></p><p>I thank you for this space and thank you for your responses as I know you all understand this pain.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AddictionSucks123, post: 764133, member: 31168"] Thank you New Leaf for your responses. The pain that you must have for your two daughters, while your other 3 thrives must be more mind altering that anything else. I understand that schism of feeling -you celebrate the ones who are thriving but are in such dire pain for the addicted ones - sometimes all those feelings at once. My son is still living in motels and trying to find a place to live. We don't know if that uncertainty is making him drink and use cocaine more but he is now using daily. Nothing we can do but hope that he finds strength to move forward. We also understand, this may be a long, long road ahead of him and we have decided to be loving and caring to him and respond positively toward him but we have to work on our own mental health and physical health. It is so difficult to do, isn't it? When it feels so natural to give and shelter and provide. I feel especially like a fraud of a mother for having him live outside in motels suffering while I pine for him in the comfort of my own home. However, I also understand intellectually, he is an adult with mental and emotional issues that he will need to address, which fuels his need to numb and that only he can fix the issue. Heard a quote today, about how loved ones; family member and friends, all bear the brunt of the pain of addiction straight on without any drugs to numb our pain, while the addict can't ever understand that pain caused by them. Yes, they will not understand that pain. We have nothing to blunt the full force of pain so we try to detach. I am doing a terrible job at detaching at this time. I thank you for this space and thank you for your responses as I know you all understand this pain. [/QUOTE]
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