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Adult son will not clean
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 749985" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>My only advice is to not be so involved in his life. He is a man now, whether he is immature, sick, or not. He will do what he wants to do and if you push it he will leave, which may be best for all. But that is your call. Nobody can force an adult to clean up or groom well. If you try or even if his therapist's try, he may just ghost them and never return to see them again. It is best in my opinion to not talk to his therapists. That may enrage him and cause a bad tantrum against you if he knows you interfered.</p><p></p><p>My suggestion is to focus on yourself, stop checking his hygiene and apartment and let him grow up himself. Or not grow up...his decision how he lives. You can not push it. It will do no good. The only thing you can do is pull all your financial support and let him leave. Many here have done this. Took us years, but we finally gave our daughter to God and we do not help her monetarily at all nor can she ever live with us. She is 33. We are in our 60s with illnesses and we will not be alive to take care of her forever. She has to learn to survive without us.</p><p></p><p>I hope you find a way ro accept your son as he is and let go of him if he becomes hard for you to live with. His hygiene and grooming are in my opinion not your business. My daughter is very sloppy but we never get involved. It saves my husband and me a lot of useless grief. She has mental health problems too but wont go for help and uses pot for all that ails her. We are glad she doesn't live with us. She can't. She will kill us and we have other kids and family who love us and want us alive. </p><p></p><p>I suggest if you are a believer, trust your son to God and enjoy your life. These adult kids who bring us here do not listen to us. It is very hard to let go. Very hard. But it is necessary in my opinion for us and for them too</p><p></p><p>Be well. !</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 749985, member: 23706"] My only advice is to not be so involved in his life. He is a man now, whether he is immature, sick, or not. He will do what he wants to do and if you push it he will leave, which may be best for all. But that is your call. Nobody can force an adult to clean up or groom well. If you try or even if his therapist's try, he may just ghost them and never return to see them again. It is best in my opinion to not talk to his therapists. That may enrage him and cause a bad tantrum against you if he knows you interfered. My suggestion is to focus on yourself, stop checking his hygiene and apartment and let him grow up himself. Or not grow up...his decision how he lives. You can not push it. It will do no good. The only thing you can do is pull all your financial support and let him leave. Many here have done this. Took us years, but we finally gave our daughter to God and we do not help her monetarily at all nor can she ever live with us. She is 33. We are in our 60s with illnesses and we will not be alive to take care of her forever. She has to learn to survive without us. I hope you find a way ro accept your son as he is and let go of him if he becomes hard for you to live with. His hygiene and grooming are in my opinion not your business. My daughter is very sloppy but we never get involved. It saves my husband and me a lot of useless grief. She has mental health problems too but wont go for help and uses pot for all that ails her. We are glad she doesn't live with us. She can't. She will kill us and we have other kids and family who love us and want us alive. I suggest if you are a believer, trust your son to God and enjoy your life. These adult kids who bring us here do not listen to us. It is very hard to let go. Very hard. But it is necessary in my opinion for us and for them too Be well. ! [/QUOTE]
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