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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 748615" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>So I have not been on this site for months and sadly enough the situation with both of my adults sons (26 & 30) is not different. They are both still living in their cars blaming me for their inability to function etc. by the grace of God I have been getting stronger. I'm not fully better yet but over the last month mostly because I'm financially hemmorraging from helping them both financially for about 1 1/2 yrs. I have stopped buying them food, cigarettes etc. The last piece is going to be gas. I've given notification that after this month-no more gas $. I pray that I can stick with it. It is a very hard road. It's not like we decide ..ok I'm going to do this and then they listen and agree with you. There is so much push back from them which often gets nasty and I end up blocking them. I truly know that I have not gotten stronger by sheer willpower but with God's help. I have also been submerging myself in some good Melodie Beattie books on Codependency. My way out of this, I feel, is going to be similar as was with my ex-husband who was and is still an active alcoholic. I have stopped denying that my enabling my sons is a problem, I have begun to realize the only one I can change in this situation is "me" and I surround myself with good support groups, reading materials and prayer. It's a long, hard road but I intend to make it. I have to keep turning them over to God, which I do a million times a day. I've also started praying for myself. Something I never did before because I was always focused on everyone else. I've made progress but have a long way to go.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 748615, member: 23405"] So I have not been on this site for months and sadly enough the situation with both of my adults sons (26 & 30) is not different. They are both still living in their cars blaming me for their inability to function etc. by the grace of God I have been getting stronger. I'm not fully better yet but over the last month mostly because I'm financially hemmorraging from helping them both financially for about 1 1/2 yrs. I have stopped buying them food, cigarettes etc. The last piece is going to be gas. I've given notification that after this month-no more gas $. I pray that I can stick with it. It is a very hard road. It's not like we decide ..ok I'm going to do this and then they listen and agree with you. There is so much push back from them which often gets nasty and I end up blocking them. I truly know that I have not gotten stronger by sheer willpower but with God's help. I have also been submerging myself in some good Melodie Beattie books on Codependency. My way out of this, I feel, is going to be similar as was with my ex-husband who was and is still an active alcoholic. I have stopped denying that my enabling my sons is a problem, I have begun to realize the only one I can change in this situation is "me" and I surround myself with good support groups, reading materials and prayer. It's a long, hard road but I intend to make it. I have to keep turning them over to God, which I do a million times a day. I've also started praying for myself. Something I never did before because I was always focused on everyone else. I've made progress but have a long way to go. [/QUOTE]
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