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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 661547" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Wait until D C asks directly. Then, give him the money. Ask him at the time whether he wants you to make the payment for him or whether he wants to handle it himself. Then, disburse the money as he suggests. </p><p></p><p>It is crucially important <em>for our own sakes </em>that we play it straight with the kids.</p><p></p><p>Until he asks, give him this time to figure it out on his own. </p><p></p><p>The kids have survived the betrayal of the roommate. That is a great lesson. They have dealt admirably with the landlord. Another stellar lesson. They are handling themselves well. You are in contact fairly regularly, and that is such an incredible thing it makes me want to cry. </p><p></p><p>Not enabling is working beautifully for your D C. </p><p></p><p>$150 isn't that much money. D C may be able to work extra shifts to take care of it himself. This will be where he decides who he is. </p><p></p><p>Give him that time.</p><p></p><p>So, that is what I would do. </p><p></p><p>If he doesn't ask, you can always decide, as the deadline approaches, to pay it yourselves, with or without his knowledge. </p><p></p><p>You have time. With a D C, that is the thing it is crucial for us to remember. We have time.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>I really am so pleased for all of you!</p><p></p><p>:O)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 661547, member: 17461"] Wait until D C asks directly. Then, give him the money. Ask him at the time whether he wants you to make the payment for him or whether he wants to handle it himself. Then, disburse the money as he suggests. It is crucially important [I]for our own sakes [/I]that we play it straight with the kids. Until he asks, give him this time to figure it out on his own. The kids have survived the betrayal of the roommate. That is a great lesson. They have dealt admirably with the landlord. Another stellar lesson. They are handling themselves well. You are in contact fairly regularly, and that is such an incredible thing it makes me want to cry. Not enabling is working beautifully for your D C. $150 isn't that much money. D C may be able to work extra shifts to take care of it himself. This will be where he decides who he is. Give him that time. So, that is what I would do. If he doesn't ask, you can always decide, as the deadline approaches, to pay it yourselves, with or without his knowledge. You have time. With a D C, that is the thing it is crucial for us to remember. We have time. Cedar I really am so pleased for all of you! :O) [/QUOTE]
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