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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 698028" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>From what I have seen, and that's a lot, I am going to mini-generalize. One, just one example, is adopting from Hong Kong, all older orphanage kids . It's a small sample of about fifty and we met once a year. Many of the kids knew one another in the orphanages.</p><p></p><p>Of those fifty something kids, all older orphanage kids, about six were normal the last time we met. They were adopted from age four to fifteen. The problems were mostly quite severe with lots of sexual acting out and family rejection. LIke us, many had infant adopted kids who were mostly fine.</p><p></p><p>One family adopted two awesome boys, both who did great and graduated college and live near me now. The parents however were dream parents for kids who needed extreme bonding. They both worked at the same private religious school and both boys went to their small school and both had their parents as teachers at least once. In the summer both parents were not working and spent quality family time and vacations with the boys nonstop. Both parents were compatible with one another and made special time for each child. It was always amazing at our yearly get togethers. We are all FB friends and all is still good.</p><p></p><p>This is the most successful older adoption (age 6 and 4 and not biologically related or adopted at the same time). So sometimes things work out. I would call this a minority, but it happens. It DID happen. When the family went back to Hong Kong to adopt their second son, they took J. With them and he got to see his old orphanage and caregivers again. It bonded the boys and they are still very close. They have no other kids.</p><p></p><p>We adopted Sonic at 2 and other than autism and he almost seems to be outgrowing his difficulties with that, he has been delightful...perfect. But he was in one foster home, never lived with his drug birthmother, and that one foster family was loving and attentive. It matters. He was never abused nor tossed from one home to another. We exchange Christmas cards even now.</p><p></p><p>The fact that my most difficult child is my one bio. Child is backwards...lol.</p><p></p><p>I feel divorce IS devestation to children. Many, many kids of divorce are represented here and divorce IS an issue. My older kids experienced divorce and are far less adjusted than my two youngest. Both of them are both very happy, confident and we'll balanced young adults. But they saw nothing but parents who loved one another. .. and they notice our love and tease us, but you can tell that they really enjoy our love. Divorce may be extremely common, but kids don't like it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 698028, member: 1550"] From what I have seen, and that's a lot, I am going to mini-generalize. One, just one example, is adopting from Hong Kong, all older orphanage kids . It's a small sample of about fifty and we met once a year. Many of the kids knew one another in the orphanages. Of those fifty something kids, all older orphanage kids, about six were normal the last time we met. They were adopted from age four to fifteen. The problems were mostly quite severe with lots of sexual acting out and family rejection. LIke us, many had infant adopted kids who were mostly fine. One family adopted two awesome boys, both who did great and graduated college and live near me now. The parents however were dream parents for kids who needed extreme bonding. They both worked at the same private religious school and both boys went to their small school and both had their parents as teachers at least once. In the summer both parents were not working and spent quality family time and vacations with the boys nonstop. Both parents were compatible with one another and made special time for each child. It was always amazing at our yearly get togethers. We are all FB friends and all is still good. This is the most successful older adoption (age 6 and 4 and not biologically related or adopted at the same time). So sometimes things work out. I would call this a minority, but it happens. It DID happen. When the family went back to Hong Kong to adopt their second son, they took J. With them and he got to see his old orphanage and caregivers again. It bonded the boys and they are still very close. They have no other kids. We adopted Sonic at 2 and other than autism and he almost seems to be outgrowing his difficulties with that, he has been delightful...perfect. But he was in one foster home, never lived with his drug birthmother, and that one foster family was loving and attentive. It matters. He was never abused nor tossed from one home to another. We exchange Christmas cards even now. The fact that my most difficult child is my one bio. Child is backwards...lol. I feel divorce IS devestation to children. Many, many kids of divorce are represented here and divorce IS an issue. My older kids experienced divorce and are far less adjusted than my two youngest. Both of them are both very happy, confident and we'll balanced young adults. But they saw nothing but parents who loved one another. .. and they notice our love and tease us, but you can tell that they really enjoy our love. Divorce may be extremely common, but kids don't like it. [/QUOTE]
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