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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 680063" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I am sorry, Leafy, but you do, if you want to heal them. We cannot heal if we refuse to see and hear and understand the nature of the harm done us. Speaking of my own experience, until I could find reliable witness, I was unable to clear the true damage of the abuses.</p><p></p><p>I needed to refute the truth learned in the abuser's eyes as she abused. I believed it was true. It happened to me. Creating a barrier required that I freeze that part of myself, but her echoes and cries for help...those things, I could never seal away. </p><p></p><p>We have to unravel and have the feelings, I think this is true, Leafy.</p><p></p><p>We need to listen, and we need to rescue the parts of ourselves sacrificed and sealed away.</p><p></p><p>I do.</p><p></p><p>How we heal will be different, for each of us.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I think this might be true.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>We were traveling one time, D H and I. And the waitress was crying. Tears were running down her face and she took our order and brought coffee and smiled and said: "Pay no attention to these tears. It is cancer. The medicine that is saving my life makes me cry."</p><p></p><p>Maybe, you could cry outside, in the sunshine, Leafy.</p><p></p><p>Not all stuffed into your room. Maybe that is part of the hurt of it. Being stuck in your room, crying.</p><p></p><p>I would not like that, either.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>They are all you, Leafy. These are the voices you incorporated to survive, to make sense out of why they were doing what they were doing to you. This is where Brene Brown's "Sit with the feelings" comes in, I think.</p><p></p><p>Nothing about you is garbage, New Leaf.</p><p></p><p>Whose voice is speaking those terrible words.</p><p></p><p>Here is what I know about fatness. In the course of evolution, some of us were built to survive famine. Now, in this time of great plenty, those so evolved will struggle with weight issues. Others of us were built to be agile and lithe and quick, and get away from the predator every time. Between the two types, the human race survived.</p><p></p><p>In the famine times?</p><p></p><p>Those built quick and agile and light on their feet?</p><p></p><p>Died.</p><p></p><p>So, now you know why you struggle; and you know too that your struggle has been beneficial in keeping the human race alive and evolving over time.</p><p></p><p>This is a true story, based on historical fact.</p><p></p><p>Weird is a judgment call. Ugly, Copa has taught us to own up to: "Unfortunately, I am ugly today." Sensitive we are deciding whether they were right or wrong in making you label yourself that way. And you know already that I think they were not helpful to you in that kind of labeling. For what anything I think about it is worth.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>What is the last one: Loser. Here again, this is about how we see ourselves when we make a mistake. You are no loser. You may have lost. Every champion does.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>She is not afraid of herself like we are, Leafy.</p><p></p><p>They say a fear of heights has to do with the fear of our own limitless potential.</p><p></p><p>Or, with a sinus or inner ear problem.</p><p></p><p>I will let you guess Leafy, which explanation I believe.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 680063, member: 17461"] I am sorry, Leafy, but you do, if you want to heal them. We cannot heal if we refuse to see and hear and understand the nature of the harm done us. Speaking of my own experience, until I could find reliable witness, I was unable to clear the true damage of the abuses. I needed to refute the truth learned in the abuser's eyes as she abused. I believed it was true. It happened to me. Creating a barrier required that I freeze that part of myself, but her echoes and cries for help...those things, I could never seal away. We have to unravel and have the feelings, I think this is true, Leafy. We need to listen, and we need to rescue the parts of ourselves sacrificed and sealed away. I do. How we heal will be different, for each of us. I think this might be true. We were traveling one time, D H and I. And the waitress was crying. Tears were running down her face and she took our order and brought coffee and smiled and said: "Pay no attention to these tears. It is cancer. The medicine that is saving my life makes me cry." Maybe, you could cry outside, in the sunshine, Leafy. Not all stuffed into your room. Maybe that is part of the hurt of it. Being stuck in your room, crying. I would not like that, either. They are all you, Leafy. These are the voices you incorporated to survive, to make sense out of why they were doing what they were doing to you. This is where Brene Brown's "Sit with the feelings" comes in, I think. Nothing about you is garbage, New Leaf. Whose voice is speaking those terrible words. Here is what I know about fatness. In the course of evolution, some of us were built to survive famine. Now, in this time of great plenty, those so evolved will struggle with weight issues. Others of us were built to be agile and lithe and quick, and get away from the predator every time. Between the two types, the human race survived. In the famine times? Those built quick and agile and light on their feet? Died. So, now you know why you struggle; and you know too that your struggle has been beneficial in keeping the human race alive and evolving over time. This is a true story, based on historical fact. Weird is a judgment call. Ugly, Copa has taught us to own up to: "Unfortunately, I am ugly today." Sensitive we are deciding whether they were right or wrong in making you label yourself that way. And you know already that I think they were not helpful to you in that kind of labeling. For what anything I think about it is worth. :O) What is the last one: Loser. Here again, this is about how we see ourselves when we make a mistake. You are no loser. You may have lost. Every champion does. She is not afraid of herself like we are, Leafy. They say a fear of heights has to do with the fear of our own limitless potential. Or, with a sinus or inner ear problem. I will let you guess Leafy, which explanation I believe. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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