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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 680130" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>M is a good witness for you, Copa. He validates what is happening but at the same time, keeps you moving forward.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I agree with this. If you had bought stuff without ever changing the kinds of things you wanted to buy, that would be one thing. But you bought kayaks and snowshoes and beautiful things and things that were not so beautiful but that appealed to you. As you are coming through this part, you are not quite able to be in that same hurt mindset you were in when you bought. So you wonder why you bought this or that and why in such quantity and so on. But because what appealed to you changed over time, I believe your buying was healing. You were trying on and rejecting personas and lifestyles and values systems. I think what you've been through Copa hurt you more than you know.</p><p></p><p>So I agree very much with M.</p><p></p><p>It's as though there is a battle going on within you between what you know and what you know you are supposed to believe about the kind of response you will elicit. </p><p></p><p>When I remember the story about the sister and the luncheon and the sister's response ~ which was alot like repeatedly pulling the brass ring just out of your reach...that is the hurt in the way you were taught to see yourself. That you are someone who is to hope, but to always just miss catching the brass ring and forever to believe that if only you had tried harder, the ring would have been yours.</p><p></p><p>But for you, like it seems to be for me too, it was a set up from the start.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry that happened, Copa. I know you love her. I love my sister too...except that lately, I think it could be true that I never knew anything about that person who is my sister. I sort of created a sister and that person is who I loved, and thought so often about, and wanted to protect and to be happy in her life. But my real sister does not love me. She couldn't, possibly.</p><p></p><p>How sad, for us.</p><p></p><p>But to add up the things that have happened from this perspective results in everything that has happened making sense.</p><p></p><p>At last.</p><p></p><p>Happy Hour here. </p><p></p><p>Have a good night, everybody.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 680130, member: 17461"] M is a good witness for you, Copa. He validates what is happening but at the same time, keeps you moving forward. I agree with this. If you had bought stuff without ever changing the kinds of things you wanted to buy, that would be one thing. But you bought kayaks and snowshoes and beautiful things and things that were not so beautiful but that appealed to you. As you are coming through this part, you are not quite able to be in that same hurt mindset you were in when you bought. So you wonder why you bought this or that and why in such quantity and so on. But because what appealed to you changed over time, I believe your buying was healing. You were trying on and rejecting personas and lifestyles and values systems. I think what you've been through Copa hurt you more than you know. So I agree very much with M. It's as though there is a battle going on within you between what you know and what you know you are supposed to believe about the kind of response you will elicit. When I remember the story about the sister and the luncheon and the sister's response ~ which was alot like repeatedly pulling the brass ring just out of your reach...that is the hurt in the way you were taught to see yourself. That you are someone who is to hope, but to always just miss catching the brass ring and forever to believe that if only you had tried harder, the ring would have been yours. But for you, like it seems to be for me too, it was a set up from the start. I am sorry that happened, Copa. I know you love her. I love my sister too...except that lately, I think it could be true that I never knew anything about that person who is my sister. I sort of created a sister and that person is who I loved, and thought so often about, and wanted to protect and to be happy in her life. But my real sister does not love me. She couldn't, possibly. How sad, for us. But to add up the things that have happened from this perspective results in everything that has happened making sense. At last. Happy Hour here. Have a good night, everybody. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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