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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 760852" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Just reread your original post.</p><p></p><p>If you knew how I cried the one and only time I went to Alanon - oh my. I was embarrassed to show my raw emotion but they got it. I could not even talk I was crying so hard. I didn't go back because I couldn't handle all the sad stories and particularly one older couple that had pretty much lost everything and their son was still an addict. They were so sad and defeated. Was that going to be us? I couldn't bear that future for us....or him.</p><p></p><p>I was wondering if you had a husband and I see that you do. I know it is so hard for men to deal with all this. Most of them are even more clueless than we are! </p><p></p><p>Honestly I knew I needed <strong>one on one</strong> help for myself and that is why I found a therapist. And she was wonderful. She helped me so much and then she left the practice after a few months and I was devastated but she passed me onto someone new and I continued to heal and do the work that I needed to do on ME. My husband did not go but I'd go home and share my sessions with him and he supported me 100%.</p><p></p><p>You don't mention your faith but if you have ever thought you needed God, you need him more than ever now. I prayed so hard on a daily basis and wasn't even sure if there was a God at that time because I couldn't believe he'd let me suffer so much after I had already suffered a lot in my life - I felt I'd already had more than my share but in truth I think I was dealt this hand to increase my faith and seek out his comfort and I did.</p><p></p><p>You need to have self-empathy too. I felt empathy for my son but I was so very angry at him most of the time because I had had enough and he was still going strong and not using any of the tools that he was so privledged to have! I felt that he had more control of his behaviors than he was letting on but I still am not sure if he did. We still have not talked about this horrible time in our lives but I hope that someday we can. </p><p></p><p>Stay strong and stay with us because there is a lot of support and knowledge amongst us here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 760852, member: 15032"] Just reread your original post. If you knew how I cried the one and only time I went to Alanon - oh my. I was embarrassed to show my raw emotion but they got it. I could not even talk I was crying so hard. I didn't go back because I couldn't handle all the sad stories and particularly one older couple that had pretty much lost everything and their son was still an addict. They were so sad and defeated. Was that going to be us? I couldn't bear that future for us....or him. I was wondering if you had a husband and I see that you do. I know it is so hard for men to deal with all this. Most of them are even more clueless than we are! Honestly I knew I needed [B]one on one[/B] help for myself and that is why I found a therapist. And she was wonderful. She helped me so much and then she left the practice after a few months and I was devastated but she passed me onto someone new and I continued to heal and do the work that I needed to do on ME. My husband did not go but I'd go home and share my sessions with him and he supported me 100%. You don't mention your faith but if you have ever thought you needed God, you need him more than ever now. I prayed so hard on a daily basis and wasn't even sure if there was a God at that time because I couldn't believe he'd let me suffer so much after I had already suffered a lot in my life - I felt I'd already had more than my share but in truth I think I was dealt this hand to increase my faith and seek out his comfort and I did. You need to have self-empathy too. I felt empathy for my son but I was so very angry at him most of the time because I had had enough and he was still going strong and not using any of the tools that he was so privledged to have! I felt that he had more control of his behaviors than he was letting on but I still am not sure if he did. We still have not talked about this horrible time in our lives but I hope that someday we can. Stay strong and stay with us because there is a lot of support and knowledge amongst us here. [/QUOTE]
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