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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 752286" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>First off I just want to say to you Wise that you deserve congratulating for 28 years of sobriety. I just think you're amazing and I had to say so! God Bless You.</p><p></p><p>I was married to an alcoholic for 30 years. The disease of alcoholism is progressive, it sneaks up on I believe, the alcoholic and their loved ones too. My ex-husband is 56 years old and the last 3 years he has been in and out of re-habs, detoxes, hospitals, etc. Currently, he's in a psychiatric unit even though he's been sober for approx. 6-8 weeks the damage the drinking has caused to his mind and body is really at this point irreparable. He was pretty much a "functioning" alcoholic prior to three years ago. Unfortunately, however he was not the pleasant type. He has had to name a few issues, a swollen a pancreas, enlarged heart, diverticulitis, high blood pressure, headaches, nausia, blood in stools, Cirrhosis of the liver, blurred vision, blurred speech and towards the end of our marriage he could barely walk to get into the car so I could get him to a hospital or rehab where they had to wheel him in.</p><p></p><p>I agree with what's been stated that as they get older the body just cannot keep up with it all. Your friend will likely have more and more obvious visible health issues as time goes on. </p><p></p><p>I'm not surprised that it's the elephant in the room when you get together because like myself most of us keep it a secret. My family "knew" something wasn't quite right but it was never discussed. The isolation is quite painful and the insider thinks they're doing such a great job of camouflaging all the crisis and awkward moments and scenarios that arise because of the drinking.</p><p></p><p>What I know is really praying that they come to the reality that they need help is all you can do. There is virtually nothing you can do to make them sober and keep them sober.</p><p></p><p>I've learned you can drop them off at the re-hab in the morning and they've taken a cab home by evening because "they just can't do it".</p><p></p><p>It has to be in their own time and it is the most painful thing to watch. You see their lives destroyed, loved ones, hopes and dreams squashed. </p><p></p><p>Some never reach their bottom as my ex-husband. He lost his job, home, wife, kids, friends, self-respect, dignity, health and it didn't get him sober. The only reason he isn't drinking right now is he's dying. Sad as that is to say.</p><p></p><p>Stepping out of the way is all we can do until they want help. It's the old saying..you can bring a horse to water but you can't make him drink it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 752286, member: 23405"] First off I just want to say to you Wise that you deserve congratulating for 28 years of sobriety. I just think you're amazing and I had to say so! God Bless You. I was married to an alcoholic for 30 years. The disease of alcoholism is progressive, it sneaks up on I believe, the alcoholic and their loved ones too. My ex-husband is 56 years old and the last 3 years he has been in and out of re-habs, detoxes, hospitals, etc. Currently, he's in a psychiatric unit even though he's been sober for approx. 6-8 weeks the damage the drinking has caused to his mind and body is really at this point irreparable. He was pretty much a "functioning" alcoholic prior to three years ago. Unfortunately, however he was not the pleasant type. He has had to name a few issues, a swollen a pancreas, enlarged heart, diverticulitis, high blood pressure, headaches, nausia, blood in stools, Cirrhosis of the liver, blurred vision, blurred speech and towards the end of our marriage he could barely walk to get into the car so I could get him to a hospital or rehab where they had to wheel him in. I agree with what's been stated that as they get older the body just cannot keep up with it all. Your friend will likely have more and more obvious visible health issues as time goes on. I'm not surprised that it's the elephant in the room when you get together because like myself most of us keep it a secret. My family "knew" something wasn't quite right but it was never discussed. The isolation is quite painful and the insider thinks they're doing such a great job of camouflaging all the crisis and awkward moments and scenarios that arise because of the drinking. What I know is really praying that they come to the reality that they need help is all you can do. There is virtually nothing you can do to make them sober and keep them sober. I've learned you can drop them off at the re-hab in the morning and they've taken a cab home by evening because "they just can't do it". It has to be in their own time and it is the most painful thing to watch. You see their lives destroyed, loved ones, hopes and dreams squashed. Some never reach their bottom as my ex-husband. He lost his job, home, wife, kids, friends, self-respect, dignity, health and it didn't get him sober. The only reason he isn't drinking right now is he's dying. Sad as that is to say. Stepping out of the way is all we can do until they want help. It's the old saying..you can bring a horse to water but you can't make him drink it. [/QUOTE]
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