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All My Kids Are 18+ So Now What?
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<blockquote data-quote="maril" data-source="post: 197935" data-attributes="member: 5937"><p>Hi, I'm new here but wanted to jump into the conversation. I have a just about 23yo, who is out of the house, had had some challenges over the years, but she can hold her own, is doing okay. It was a gradual transition to adulthood for her and husband and I are still on board for some stuff, i.e., she's still covered on our auto (she makes payments, albeit don't charge her full cost - she has lots of financial stuff to juggle and just works PT, has her own car) and medical insurance (covered on husband's policy till she finishes up full-time in college this Dec.) and we're here for advice and support for her. Okay, not so bad. </p><p> </p><p>Now child #2, our DS, 17, is a whole 'nother chapter in our lives. He has struggled and struggled with ADHD and related issues over many years (accommodations to the point permitted at school in place and started taking medication - he is on board for that). The mom's post I quoted above is similar to what I feel about my son. Husband and I have done our best with school issues, behavior issues, even sending him to a counselor, and continue to try other approaches. Now we are concerned about substance abuse, school tardies (have made contacts and are communicating with school as well as have an appointment with a case manager coming up to set up a plan) and are stressed out daily. BUT, I am slowly coming to terms with the fact/need to recognize that even though we will continue to provide him a safe haven, food, shelter, and emotional support, we must pass the consequences of his actions on to him - not enable him - and I have stressed this to him (he repeatedly and purposely misses his bus; breaks curfew frequently; we suspect substance abuse; there are many confrontations and tempers flaring at home). Believe it or not, his grades are above average/average right now (he had been failing previously) but it is only the beginning of the school year. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /> </p><p> </p><p>It is nice to come here and read about and learn from others with teenagers and adult children. I frequent another site for families dealing with ADHD, but on those boards, it appears there are not too many in the same boat as our family; many of the posters have younger children and different issues than us, as well many of the posters are adults with ADHD, not in the same situation as we are; however, I have learned a thing or two from those folks and am supportive of their actions as parents.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="maril, post: 197935, member: 5937"] Hi, I'm new here but wanted to jump into the conversation. I have a just about 23yo, who is out of the house, had had some challenges over the years, but she can hold her own, is doing okay. It was a gradual transition to adulthood for her and husband and I are still on board for some stuff, i.e., she's still covered on our auto (she makes payments, albeit don't charge her full cost - she has lots of financial stuff to juggle and just works PT, has her own car) and medical insurance (covered on husband's policy till she finishes up full-time in college this Dec.) and we're here for advice and support for her. Okay, not so bad. Now child #2, our DS, 17, is a whole 'nother chapter in our lives. He has struggled and struggled with ADHD and related issues over many years (accommodations to the point permitted at school in place and started taking medication - he is on board for that). The mom's post I quoted above is similar to what I feel about my son. Husband and I have done our best with school issues, behavior issues, even sending him to a counselor, and continue to try other approaches. Now we are concerned about substance abuse, school tardies (have made contacts and are communicating with school as well as have an appointment with a case manager coming up to set up a plan) and are stressed out daily. BUT, I am slowly coming to terms with the fact/need to recognize that even though we will continue to provide him a safe haven, food, shelter, and emotional support, we must pass the consequences of his actions on to him - not enable him - and I have stressed this to him (he repeatedly and purposely misses his bus; breaks curfew frequently; we suspect substance abuse; there are many confrontations and tempers flaring at home). Believe it or not, his grades are above average/average right now (he had been failing previously) but it is only the beginning of the school year. :happy: It is nice to come here and read about and learn from others with teenagers and adult children. I frequent another site for families dealing with ADHD, but on those boards, it appears there are not too many in the same boat as our family; many of the posters have younger children and different issues than us, as well many of the posters are adults with ADHD, not in the same situation as we are; however, I have learned a thing or two from those folks and am supportive of their actions as parents. [/QUOTE]
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All My Kids Are 18+ So Now What?
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