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Parent Emeritus
Always At Their Mercy - Nothing is Black and White
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 750794" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Chickpea</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is a marauder. I just looked this word up.</p><p></p><p><em>One who roams from place to place making attacks and raids in search of plunder.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>A marauder is like a pirate, an outlaw, a buccaneer. Somebody who lives outside of the law, and raids. Crosses boundaries, looks for weakness and disadvantage, and terrorizes.</p><p></p><p>The question is: <em>What is her booty? What does she seek? What is her plunder?</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>She represents sometimes that she wants the baby. (For a visit, for a specific result that she wants, like the apartment.) But does she really? It sounds like she wants the prestige, privileges and<em> power</em> that the baby brings, but has no interest at all (or ability) to deal with the responsibilities of a real baby.</p><p></p><p>You are terrified because your daughter chooses to terrify you. This is her MO. This is her aim. She wants to destabilize you and your household because this is how she achieves her power.</p><p></p><p>Rapid attack, out of nowhere. Overthrowing rules and mocking them and mocking you. She will continue to up her game. Because this is her game. The baby to her is only a pawn, a chit, an instrument.</p><p></p><p>I feel terrified even writing this. I can't imagine how it feels to be you. You matter here. Albatross put it better than I do, <em>do you think there are measures that you can take to protect yourselves and the baby?</em> This is the central question here. What do you see as your options?</p><p></p><p>Would there be some incentives you could give your daughter where she would voluntarily give you legal custody?</p><p></p><p>I don't think anybody could or should live in a situation where they feel helpless to protect themselves from attack, from violation. That is where you find yourselves, it seems, based upon your posts. The feelings you feel are the logical and unavoidable consequence of what your daughter is doing to you. Nobody would feel differently, in your situation. Given this is the case, what are your options? There are options. They might not be perfect or what you desire, but there are choices here.</p><p></p><p>Right now you are choosing to pay the bounty. To let her invade when she wants, to terrify you and to dominate. Anybody could understand why you accept this. But her demands are worse and worse. Harder and harder. She is coming into your secure sanctuary. She is wanting to dominate where you live. How much more of this can you stand?</p><p></p><p>What can you do to make her stop? That is the question.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 750794, member: 18958"] Dear Chickpea Your daughter is a marauder. I just looked this word up. [I]One who roams from place to place making attacks and raids in search of plunder. [/I] A marauder is like a pirate, an outlaw, a buccaneer. Somebody who lives outside of the law, and raids. Crosses boundaries, looks for weakness and disadvantage, and terrorizes. The question is: [I]What is her booty? What does she seek? What is her plunder? [/I] She represents sometimes that she wants the baby. (For a visit, for a specific result that she wants, like the apartment.) But does she really? It sounds like she wants the prestige, privileges and[I] power[/I] that the baby brings, but has no interest at all (or ability) to deal with the responsibilities of a real baby. You are terrified because your daughter chooses to terrify you. This is her MO. This is her aim. She wants to destabilize you and your household because this is how she achieves her power. Rapid attack, out of nowhere. Overthrowing rules and mocking them and mocking you. She will continue to up her game. Because this is her game. The baby to her is only a pawn, a chit, an instrument. I feel terrified even writing this. I can't imagine how it feels to be you. You matter here. Albatross put it better than I do, [I]do you think there are measures that you can take to protect yourselves and the baby?[/I] This is the central question here. What do you see as your options? Would there be some incentives you could give your daughter where she would voluntarily give you legal custody? I don't think anybody could or should live in a situation where they feel helpless to protect themselves from attack, from violation. That is where you find yourselves, it seems, based upon your posts. The feelings you feel are the logical and unavoidable consequence of what your daughter is doing to you. Nobody would feel differently, in your situation. Given this is the case, what are your options? There are options. They might not be perfect or what you desire, but there are choices here. Right now you are choosing to pay the bounty. To let her invade when she wants, to terrify you and to dominate. Anybody could understand why you accept this. But her demands are worse and worse. Harder and harder. She is coming into your secure sanctuary. She is wanting to dominate where you live. How much more of this can you stand? What can you do to make her stop? That is the question. [/QUOTE]
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Always At Their Mercy - Nothing is Black and White
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