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General Parenting
Am I A Bad Dad?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 731337" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Nobody here will judge you. Nor does anybody have a right to do so. There are no right answers. Only questions. Only you know how to answer </p><p></p><p>Questions: how is her behavior at school? How does she act where she is living? Has she gotten help since her mom died? I cannot think of anything more traumatic than what she has been through.</p><p></p><p>As you and her mom were seeking help did she receive diagnoses?</p><p></p><p>In my state kids 16 and over can legally emancipate. I personally might check with an attorney about the legal ramifications of your current arrangement and what options might be.</p><p></p><p>Nobody can compell a relationship to work.</p><p></p><p>All of us here on this board have traveled well beyond any conventional appearance of familial harmony with respect to our kids. Today my son both called the police to our house and put an electrical cord around his neck.</p><p></p><p>Beyond the legal requirements only you can know what you can give or will. And there is the question of her willingness to receive your support and love which has to this point been little or none.</p><p></p><p>My only concern is that she is a child who has traumatically lost her mother, shortly after a divorce. Even though she may have done much to affect both the marriage and the mental stability of her mother (indeed she has been the prime mover of this family tragedy as you describe it) she is still the child of a mother and father and she has lost both.</p><p></p><p>On some level she must know or feel responsible. Somewhere there is that loss. And it is a traumatic one.</p><p></p><p>Your situation is a painful and tragic one. There are no easy answers. Like for most of us here. I am so very sorry for the pain of it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 731337, member: 18958"] Nobody here will judge you. Nor does anybody have a right to do so. There are no right answers. Only questions. Only you know how to answer Questions: how is her behavior at school? How does she act where she is living? Has she gotten help since her mom died? I cannot think of anything more traumatic than what she has been through. As you and her mom were seeking help did she receive diagnoses? In my state kids 16 and over can legally emancipate. I personally might check with an attorney about the legal ramifications of your current arrangement and what options might be. Nobody can compell a relationship to work. All of us here on this board have traveled well beyond any conventional appearance of familial harmony with respect to our kids. Today my son both called the police to our house and put an electrical cord around his neck. Beyond the legal requirements only you can know what you can give or will. And there is the question of her willingness to receive your support and love which has to this point been little or none. My only concern is that she is a child who has traumatically lost her mother, shortly after a divorce. Even though she may have done much to affect both the marriage and the mental stability of her mother (indeed she has been the prime mover of this family tragedy as you describe it) she is still the child of a mother and father and she has lost both. On some level she must know or feel responsible. Somewhere there is that loss. And it is a traumatic one. Your situation is a painful and tragic one. There are no easy answers. Like for most of us here. I am so very sorry for the pain of it. [/QUOTE]
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