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Am I a (Censored) Person/Parent?
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 750430" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Thanks so much, all of you. I feel myself moving on, then I feel guilty for doing so. It is such a blessing to know I am not alone. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Me too. Through therapy I learned we as parents of difficult children will likely never feel GOOD about any course of action we take, because there are no options that produce a good outcome. So...that knowledge that we did what we could is our only true solace.</p><p></p><p></p><p>RN, I re-read your post many times. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It was very powerful, and very much how I feel.</p><p></p><p>Me too. With distance it gets better. When son told Hubs he might have to come back to our state for his DUI charge, I felt panicked. I feel best when he is far away.</p><p> Thank you, RN. I appreciate the strength and courage of your post. It gives me strength. I'm glad your son has the opportunities you are giving him now, and I'm also glad that he knows where you stand. I believe that gives HIM strength too.</p><p>I have felt that way too about death, Beta. Not actively suicidal but certainly finding *ANY* escape attractive. I too love my son as my child but do not like him as a person and do not want to be around him unless he changes, and I do not think he is likely to change.</p><p></p><p>He *IS* toxic, or at least our relationship is. I don't think I realized all that entails until I started reading about toxic family members.</p><p></p><p>Thank you, Tanya! </p><p></p><p>Thank you, ChickPea. And you describe it perfectly. EVERYTHING feels off, out of sorts...and chaotic...and draining...and painful...all the time...and I don't want to live like that anymore.</p><p></p><p>Thank you, RE. I did not think of it that way before. I don't know if this will make any sense, but you just kind of blew my mind by helping me realize it is okay to feel happy and sad at the same time!</p><p></p><p>Thank you, SS. I am sorry you don't have total peace of mind yet, if such a state exists, but we sure have come a long way, haven't we?</p><p></p><p>HAHA! Thanks 200!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 750430, member: 17720"] Thanks so much, all of you. I feel myself moving on, then I feel guilty for doing so. It is such a blessing to know I am not alone. Me too. Through therapy I learned we as parents of difficult children will likely never feel GOOD about any course of action we take, because there are no options that produce a good outcome. So...that knowledge that we did what we could is our only true solace. RN, I re-read your post many times. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It was very powerful, and very much how I feel. Me too. With distance it gets better. When son told Hubs he might have to come back to our state for his DUI charge, I felt panicked. I feel best when he is far away. Thank you, RN. I appreciate the strength and courage of your post. It gives me strength. I'm glad your son has the opportunities you are giving him now, and I'm also glad that he knows where you stand. I believe that gives HIM strength too. I have felt that way too about death, Beta. Not actively suicidal but certainly finding *ANY* escape attractive. I too love my son as my child but do not like him as a person and do not want to be around him unless he changes, and I do not think he is likely to change. He *IS* toxic, or at least our relationship is. I don't think I realized all that entails until I started reading about toxic family members. Thank you, Tanya! Thank you, ChickPea. And you describe it perfectly. EVERYTHING feels off, out of sorts...and chaotic...and draining...and painful...all the time...and I don't want to live like that anymore. Thank you, RE. I did not think of it that way before. I don't know if this will make any sense, but you just kind of blew my mind by helping me realize it is okay to feel happy and sad at the same time! Thank you, SS. I am sorry you don't have total peace of mind yet, if such a state exists, but we sure have come a long way, haven't we? HAHA! Thanks 200! [/QUOTE]
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