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Am I doing the right thing?
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<blockquote data-quote="JustWantPeace" data-source="post: 737621" data-attributes="member: 23277"><p>Thank you all for your support. It really helps and I know that desperate phone call will come some day. I have a list of responses ready (found on another thread). I didn't go into all of the struggles we have had with him because we try not to hold grudges and use past indiscretions against him. But this has been a very long road. He has always shown signs of being Bi-polar, but he was not officially diagnosed until recently. He refuses to take his medications, which when he is on them we see a huge difference. His ups and downs are more hills than mountains when he is on his medication. We know that the drug use exacerbates his symptoms of Bi-polar, but they have always been there. I just keep questioning myself and this decision. Have I really done everything before it got to this point? Was there something more we could have done? Did I fail as a mother since he has no consideration for others? What if he is not mentally capable of taking care of himself, can I force him to become capable by kicking him out? He isn't "slow". He is immature. He makes bad decisions. He is SUPER self-centered, to the point of being narcissistic. I just don't know and I guess I won't know for a long time. I have to keep telling myself that he isn't going to change and mature overnight because I have asked him to live somewhere else. I found a good quote or analagy or whatever yesterday that I keep repeating, "you’re not pushing them out of a plane without a parachute. You’re pushing them out into the street without any money". I am so thankful I found this forum and I am not the first or last to go through this situation. Now I need to find a good drywall fixer for some holes in my walls that are about the size of a 19 year olds fists.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JustWantPeace, post: 737621, member: 23277"] Thank you all for your support. It really helps and I know that desperate phone call will come some day. I have a list of responses ready (found on another thread). I didn't go into all of the struggles we have had with him because we try not to hold grudges and use past indiscretions against him. But this has been a very long road. He has always shown signs of being Bi-polar, but he was not officially diagnosed until recently. He refuses to take his medications, which when he is on them we see a huge difference. His ups and downs are more hills than mountains when he is on his medication. We know that the drug use exacerbates his symptoms of Bi-polar, but they have always been there. I just keep questioning myself and this decision. Have I really done everything before it got to this point? Was there something more we could have done? Did I fail as a mother since he has no consideration for others? What if he is not mentally capable of taking care of himself, can I force him to become capable by kicking him out? He isn't "slow". He is immature. He makes bad decisions. He is SUPER self-centered, to the point of being narcissistic. I just don't know and I guess I won't know for a long time. I have to keep telling myself that he isn't going to change and mature overnight because I have asked him to live somewhere else. I found a good quote or analagy or whatever yesterday that I keep repeating, "you’re not pushing them out of a plane without a parachute. You’re pushing them out into the street without any money". I am so thankful I found this forum and I am not the first or last to go through this situation. Now I need to find a good drywall fixer for some holes in my walls that are about the size of a 19 year olds fists. [/QUOTE]
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