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Substance Abuse
Am I expecting too much?
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 726970" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Thanks ladies.</p><p></p><p>His dad had told him he can come back home if he successfully finished this program. Again, it is not a long term solution, but a stopping point for him. Of course if he is going to school or trade school and staying sober he will have a place for him. He has to have a life plan. There will be strict rules. We are not afraid any longer of having him leave and we will be in a warmer climate living in a new state where he does not know anyone. He is like many others here and does not like to be alone nor do I want him alone. This to me is where the CRAFT model takes over. Giving him the support he needs to find his way in life. I'm okay with that. We will not enable him though.</p><p></p><p>This is not me bringing someone home that is actively using. This is after a 13 month successful program and over two years out of state and a thousand miles away from us. He has fallen many times but he always gets up.</p><p></p><p>In the program he is in now they really don't talk to you about how their doing since they are adults and it's nothing like the rehabs he's been in before. If he was not doing well and following the rules he would not be able to stay there. I have seen a big change in him but he is far from "done" and will never be done. This is much different than anything we have experienced before. This is a lifelong change for anyone that has a problem with addiction and they are never done. But it's on him. I have had to accept I cannot control the outcome and it is very hard.</p><p></p><p>My therapist agrees with what we are doing and the boundaries we have set so I feel pretty good about it. We have all learned a lot.</p><p></p><p>He does not ask about home every time we talk to him and he did not bring it up at all on our last visit but I know he thinks about it a lot. I agree, I don't want him to think about home but if he does it simultaneously with working on himself I have to be okay with that. When he does bring it up we redirect him to his goal there. He does acknowledge that it is easy to stay sober there and the longer he is sober the better it is for him. My son is very smart and is finally learning self awareness which is a very important part of this journey. I am just trying to stay positive and hope for the best. It really is in God's hands.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 726970, member: 15032"] Thanks ladies. His dad had told him he can come back home if he successfully finished this program. Again, it is not a long term solution, but a stopping point for him. Of course if he is going to school or trade school and staying sober he will have a place for him. He has to have a life plan. There will be strict rules. We are not afraid any longer of having him leave and we will be in a warmer climate living in a new state where he does not know anyone. He is like many others here and does not like to be alone nor do I want him alone. This to me is where the CRAFT model takes over. Giving him the support he needs to find his way in life. I'm okay with that. We will not enable him though. This is not me bringing someone home that is actively using. This is after a 13 month successful program and over two years out of state and a thousand miles away from us. He has fallen many times but he always gets up. In the program he is in now they really don't talk to you about how their doing since they are adults and it's nothing like the rehabs he's been in before. If he was not doing well and following the rules he would not be able to stay there. I have seen a big change in him but he is far from "done" and will never be done. This is much different than anything we have experienced before. This is a lifelong change for anyone that has a problem with addiction and they are never done. But it's on him. I have had to accept I cannot control the outcome and it is very hard. My therapist agrees with what we are doing and the boundaries we have set so I feel pretty good about it. We have all learned a lot. He does not ask about home every time we talk to him and he did not bring it up at all on our last visit but I know he thinks about it a lot. I agree, I don't want him to think about home but if he does it simultaneously with working on himself I have to be okay with that. When he does bring it up we redirect him to his goal there. He does acknowledge that it is easy to stay sober there and the longer he is sober the better it is for him. My son is very smart and is finally learning self awareness which is a very important part of this journey. I am just trying to stay positive and hope for the best. It really is in God's hands. [/QUOTE]
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