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Am I expecting too much?
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<blockquote data-quote="Littleboylost" data-source="post: 727207" data-attributes="member: 21895"><p>JFT, JB and others;</p><p></p><p>I respec the advice you have shared and in part I agree and yet I disagree. Our sons RN and mine began drugging at a very early age and yes mentally they stall out.</p><p></p><p>Once a program has been completed and the son has a plan and direction. I see no concern about supporting positive changes going forward and continued academics. Certainly not coming home to the same old same old.</p><p></p><p>Regression and relaps are very big fears always. Isolating and not supporting sobriety is not a way forward. In fact it can probably cause a slip back into drug use as much as anything else.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am sorry I have to disagree with this statement. Many addicts reluctant to go to rehab end up embracing the programs and find very well. The data supports my position. If it didn’t I would not have spent so much time hearding my son into the corral of rehab and left him in prison. There is no guarantee either way that a voluntary stay In rehab or a coherced One will wind up in success.</p><p></p><p>Weather the program is faith based or not is of no relevance if RNs son is choosing to stay and work the steps, pray and embrace the religious component of this program then full steam ahead.</p><p></p><p>Is he asking to come home? Yes. Is this a typical pattern from the past yes. Is RN falling into this manipulative pattern and allowing son to come home? Of course not. And that can not be easy on a mother’s heart. </p><p></p><p>Her son could leave and he chooses to stay. He has no where to go, since when has this ever stopped our addicts from bailing out of a program?</p><p></p><p>Yes the program is faith based and embraces God, no different than the steps of AA and accepting a higher power. Teen Challenge has higher success rates than most other programs out there. It is also CBT and talk therapy bases. </p><p></p><p>I agree that caution and time must be taken in considering having RNs son return home post his rehab completion. I have faith that when the time comes RN will make the right decision. If he comes out with a positive attitude and a direction and goal in mind academic or otherwise it is important to listen and make the decisions that is right at that time.</p><p></p><p>Each individual child/adult has its own unique qualities.</p><p></p><p>My suggestion is park that decision on the back burner and make it when the time is right. This will be months down the road.</p><p></p><p>Is RNs son still in a manipularic Addict phase. For sure he is. He is however, staying put and working the program. This is optimistic.</p><p></p><p>I know my son will need support once he completes his long term program. I am not willing to assess his future goals and needs until the time comes. </p><p></p><p>Being invested in the recover of our addicts is not enabling them it is giving them hope. When we are in that phase where the addict is seeking help. We do engage. Especially when they are so young. There is not right or wrong here we all do what our hearts can bear. No judgment, just support.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Littleboylost, post: 727207, member: 21895"] JFT, JB and others; I respec the advice you have shared and in part I agree and yet I disagree. Our sons RN and mine began drugging at a very early age and yes mentally they stall out. Once a program has been completed and the son has a plan and direction. I see no concern about supporting positive changes going forward and continued academics. Certainly not coming home to the same old same old. Regression and relaps are very big fears always. Isolating and not supporting sobriety is not a way forward. In fact it can probably cause a slip back into drug use as much as anything else. I am sorry I have to disagree with this statement. Many addicts reluctant to go to rehab end up embracing the programs and find very well. The data supports my position. If it didn’t I would not have spent so much time hearding my son into the corral of rehab and left him in prison. There is no guarantee either way that a voluntary stay In rehab or a coherced One will wind up in success. Weather the program is faith based or not is of no relevance if RNs son is choosing to stay and work the steps, pray and embrace the religious component of this program then full steam ahead. Is he asking to come home? Yes. Is this a typical pattern from the past yes. Is RN falling into this manipulative pattern and allowing son to come home? Of course not. And that can not be easy on a mother’s heart. Her son could leave and he chooses to stay. He has no where to go, since when has this ever stopped our addicts from bailing out of a program? Yes the program is faith based and embraces God, no different than the steps of AA and accepting a higher power. Teen Challenge has higher success rates than most other programs out there. It is also CBT and talk therapy bases. I agree that caution and time must be taken in considering having RNs son return home post his rehab completion. I have faith that when the time comes RN will make the right decision. If he comes out with a positive attitude and a direction and goal in mind academic or otherwise it is important to listen and make the decisions that is right at that time. Each individual child/adult has its own unique qualities. My suggestion is park that decision on the back burner and make it when the time is right. This will be months down the road. Is RNs son still in a manipularic Addict phase. For sure he is. He is however, staying put and working the program. This is optimistic. I know my son will need support once he completes his long term program. I am not willing to assess his future goals and needs until the time comes. Being invested in the recover of our addicts is not enabling them it is giving them hope. When we are in that phase where the addict is seeking help. We do engage. Especially when they are so young. There is not right or wrong here we all do what our hearts can bear. No judgment, just support. [/QUOTE]
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