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Am I Losing My Mind? Please Help!
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 542893" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Pippi's daughter is 9, Terry.</p><p>Congratulations for having had the courage to come here and share your story honestly. I do think there is probably something in the attachment thing (though no-one here can, obviously, know for sure from afar and never even having seen your daughter). My adopted son, who also had an unstable early life, with my divorce from his adopted father and three changes of country, was a lot more difficult and unstable two years ago, one year ago, than he is now. I think some at least of this change is to do with stability and better attachment between us. He also lied more and was more manipulative than he was - though he still lies sometimes and can be manipulative sometimes.</p><p>It is very hard to feel that your own daughter is alien and frightening to you. If there were some kind of therapy you could do together... NOT because it is your "fault" but because that is perhaps somewhere where you both need to work. If you feel you are starting to hate her, that is a prophecy she WILL fulfil... And obviously the more hateful her behaviour (seen by you), the more your tendency to feel this way... It is a vicious cycle that needs to be broken. I sincerely hope you can find someone who could help you with attachment therapy if you decide that is appropriate.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 542893, member: 11227"] Pippi's daughter is 9, Terry. Congratulations for having had the courage to come here and share your story honestly. I do think there is probably something in the attachment thing (though no-one here can, obviously, know for sure from afar and never even having seen your daughter). My adopted son, who also had an unstable early life, with my divorce from his adopted father and three changes of country, was a lot more difficult and unstable two years ago, one year ago, than he is now. I think some at least of this change is to do with stability and better attachment between us. He also lied more and was more manipulative than he was - though he still lies sometimes and can be manipulative sometimes. It is very hard to feel that your own daughter is alien and frightening to you. If there were some kind of therapy you could do together... NOT because it is your "fault" but because that is perhaps somewhere where you both need to work. If you feel you are starting to hate her, that is a prophecy she WILL fulfil... And obviously the more hateful her behaviour (seen by you), the more your tendency to feel this way... It is a vicious cycle that needs to be broken. I sincerely hope you can find someone who could help you with attachment therapy if you decide that is appropriate. [/QUOTE]
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Am I Losing My Mind? Please Help!
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