Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Amusing conversation
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="skittles" data-source="post: 756008" data-attributes="member: 2484"><p>Thanks for the links, im going to check them out. So yes, i read back thru the texts and wonder how i got here. I think ive articulated it in another previous post sometime ago.(and the wonderful frog in boiling water analogy!) I started helping out when first baby came along as many grandparents do. My son and his girlfriend were young and needed alittle extra help. Then she got pregnant twice more, my son went to prison while she was pregnant with number 3. I guess i felt sorry for her alone and pregnant, with 2 young ones, no car on assisstance and of course felt guilty (rational or not) because they are my sons kids. I got much more involved since my son was in prison. She got pregnant again while visiting him in prison, and number 5 after he got out. Their relationship just completely deteriorated when he got out, people change alot in 5 years and it didnt work out. When they split is when she started getting nastier with me, as im supposed to be some kind if substitute for him in her mind i guess? Things have just slowly gone from helping out to yes a basically abusive situation. Ive kept involved (so i keep telling myself) to make sure the kids have groceries, get to their medical apptmts etc. and to keep an eye on things in their environment. And honestly when things werent this bad, i actually enjoyed her company. Ive had her as part of my family for 11 years now, over time she became basically a daughter to me and i do feel some sadness at the loss of that. Our relationship really started changing when she and my son split. I did my best to stay out of their conflict but if i didnt take her side 100% then she felt betrayed or that i was always taking his side and she just became accusatory and angry over time. For some time now ive been gradually pulling back recognizing ive become way too emeshed in this. Also recognizing that my help has just enabled her to keep having babies and she really isnt capable. The final straw has been the new boyfriend. Hes basically taking on a very agressive and threatening role in trying to control me. As nasty as she could get before, she didnt frightened me, just made me angry. This man does scare me, so they are still blocked, i dont intend to remove it. Some good news is that my son tells me CAS called him to ask if he still feels hes capable of housing the two boys that want to go to him on a temporary basis for now if she is unable to find housing. I guess after i sent the text the worker went to see Shayla and yes the landlord has applied to have her removed. Im not sure what CAS plans are for the other three but if theyr fostered it will be easier to find placement that keeps the three togeather than it would be for five. So mixed emotions right now, happy with myself for keeping this block on, sad the children are going thru this, relief it may finally all be coming to a head, excited for my son that for all his faults hes never stopped trying to be in the kids lives and is being considered seriously for at least temporary custody and profoundly grateful to the wonderful supportive people here. I will keep you posted as things progress with the custody situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="skittles, post: 756008, member: 2484"] Thanks for the links, im going to check them out. So yes, i read back thru the texts and wonder how i got here. I think ive articulated it in another previous post sometime ago.(and the wonderful frog in boiling water analogy!) I started helping out when first baby came along as many grandparents do. My son and his girlfriend were young and needed alittle extra help. Then she got pregnant twice more, my son went to prison while she was pregnant with number 3. I guess i felt sorry for her alone and pregnant, with 2 young ones, no car on assisstance and of course felt guilty (rational or not) because they are my sons kids. I got much more involved since my son was in prison. She got pregnant again while visiting him in prison, and number 5 after he got out. Their relationship just completely deteriorated when he got out, people change alot in 5 years and it didnt work out. When they split is when she started getting nastier with me, as im supposed to be some kind if substitute for him in her mind i guess? Things have just slowly gone from helping out to yes a basically abusive situation. Ive kept involved (so i keep telling myself) to make sure the kids have groceries, get to their medical apptmts etc. and to keep an eye on things in their environment. And honestly when things werent this bad, i actually enjoyed her company. Ive had her as part of my family for 11 years now, over time she became basically a daughter to me and i do feel some sadness at the loss of that. Our relationship really started changing when she and my son split. I did my best to stay out of their conflict but if i didnt take her side 100% then she felt betrayed or that i was always taking his side and she just became accusatory and angry over time. For some time now ive been gradually pulling back recognizing ive become way too emeshed in this. Also recognizing that my help has just enabled her to keep having babies and she really isnt capable. The final straw has been the new boyfriend. Hes basically taking on a very agressive and threatening role in trying to control me. As nasty as she could get before, she didnt frightened me, just made me angry. This man does scare me, so they are still blocked, i dont intend to remove it. Some good news is that my son tells me CAS called him to ask if he still feels hes capable of housing the two boys that want to go to him on a temporary basis for now if she is unable to find housing. I guess after i sent the text the worker went to see Shayla and yes the landlord has applied to have her removed. Im not sure what CAS plans are for the other three but if theyr fostered it will be easier to find placement that keeps the three togeather than it would be for five. So mixed emotions right now, happy with myself for keeping this block on, sad the children are going thru this, relief it may finally all be coming to a head, excited for my son that for all his faults hes never stopped trying to be in the kids lives and is being considered seriously for at least temporary custody and profoundly grateful to the wonderful supportive people here. I will keep you posted as things progress with the custody situation. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Amusing conversation
Top