Lil, they didn't know much about Aspergers back then. It was ADHD and only ADHD. They diagnosed my son with ADHD too and as soon as I left the office I told my husband, "No, it's not. It's a form of autism." I had just happened to read a book on autistic kids right before we adopted Sonic and I could tell. He was text book, but because he was active they said it was ADHD. Sonic had other delays so he also had an IEP and early education and he is actually a very happy young man and was a happy boy and found misfits to fit in with and he was ok with that. He was diagnosed with high functioning autism, more accurately Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified. He doesn't seem to care about fitting into "normal."
But Aspies often do care. And that can lead to things like drug use. I have no idea how that can help you now, but you may be able to talk him into seeing a neuropsychologist for diagnostic reasons. If he has it, you can at least understand him better and maybe even explain him to your husband. Then maybe he will be more willing to stop using pot if he knows there is help and hope for Aspergers, assuming he has it. I wouldn't trust a regular doctor to diagnose it. It is very complex to diagnose.
Now if he has it, that is still no reason to take drugs, but it would explain why life is confusing to him and why his temper is short (they tend to all be a part of it). He can also learn to do better, but, as with everything, he has to be willing to try hard with somebody who understands him.
But let's not jump the gun. He may not have it. However, if he does, it is tragic that nobody said anything in the medical profession to get him services. I think if he has it, and is willing to accept the label, there is more hope for him than if he just thinks he's a loser. Can't hurt to try.
Hugs again. We are pulling for both you and your son.
