It would give him an option of getting help. If he doesn't get help and he has it, he WON'T be taking care of himself anytime soon. He is more than his disorders. He can make decisions that help him, he can make decisions that hurt him, or he can decide to do nothing which will hurt him. You still need to let him go. My autistic son is out on his own, has a part-time job and social security and takes care of most of his needs on his own. But he was always an extremely hard worker. On top of having Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), he was born to a birthmother who was high when she had him and he had cocaine in his system and he needed open heart surgery right after birth. He had wonderful foster parents for two years than we got him and he was a real handful, but he always, always tried very hard, even young. It is really up to the person. If your son has Asperger's he may qualify for job assistance, help with his resume, social skills services, etc, but he would again have to accept the help and work hard and you would have to step back and allow others to help him...and not give in when he feels sorry for himself.
I understand your point of view too though. This is a decision you have to make yourself. If my kid had ever said to me, "It's not my fault I can't do (fill in the blank) I would have told him he can do anything he most certainly can do it, but he has to listen to what his helpers tell him to do and he has to try harder than other people and it will be worth it." We started very early giving Sonic normal childhood responsibilities. Even when he raged, he was not let off the hook. It has paid off big time with him. I'm not bragging, believe me. I have my difficult child and he's a whole total ballgame, so I get it.
