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...and it all falls apart.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 700743" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I found this sad and fascinating,too.</p><p></p><p>This is what I am thinking: Most of us parents are very attached and have been through thick and thin. Our kids are very attached too. That is the problem. Our problem is the closeness--once the kids get to be adults--especially difficult for the boys. So the D C phenomena is an artifact of intense connection and need for involvement with parents and family--after it stops being appropriate in our culture, which endorses separating and detachment of adult children.</p><p></p><p>My son has been able to articulate for the past 6 months or so how much he wants a close relationship with his family; how he wants to be a family together, in a family, etc. He is also a very loving person and has always been. His kindness receded for a long time, but it is back.</p><p></p><p>What I am saying here is that as he matures (little by little) he is both conscious of, and affirming rather than fighting--his desire for strong connection.</p><p></p><p>I would rather have my D C loving son, who wants me in his life, rather than an indifferent, formal, child who moves beyond me, outgrows a mother and leaves me behind.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 700743, member: 18958"] I found this sad and fascinating,too. This is what I am thinking: Most of us parents are very attached and have been through thick and thin. Our kids are very attached too. That is the problem. Our problem is the closeness--once the kids get to be adults--especially difficult for the boys. So the D C phenomena is an artifact of intense connection and need for involvement with parents and family--after it stops being appropriate in our culture, which endorses separating and detachment of adult children. My son has been able to articulate for the past 6 months or so how much he wants a close relationship with his family; how he wants to be a family together, in a family, etc. He is also a very loving person and has always been. His kindness receded for a long time, but it is back. What I am saying here is that as he matures (little by little) he is both conscious of, and affirming rather than fighting--his desire for strong connection. I would rather have my D C loving son, who wants me in his life, rather than an indifferent, formal, child who moves beyond me, outgrows a mother and leaves me behind. [/QUOTE]
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