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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 753036" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I remember our extensive discussion in the Foo forum and how we delved into our own family experience. I think the trauma of dealing with off the rails adult kids forces us to look inward for answers. It is interesting to read that caring for traumatized children brings a lot of our own history to the forefront. It is highly suggested that foster parents consider therapy for this very reason. Trauma is contagious. That’s what I think. Like a ripple effect. If one is not careful, watchful of one’s own deep seated emotions, the trauma can envelope the entire home. It is actually a sort of comfort zone for a traumatized child in their stressed state, it’s all they have known.</p><p>It will be a long journey to sanity. But I do see subtle changes. It is all dependent on setting a routine, identifying house rules and sticking to them. Trying not to make sudden changes. Finding out what triggers to avoid. Watching the brothers and preventing fights. I am in training Copa.</p><p>I don’t mean to compare my grands to animals, but they remind me of a feral kitten my daughter found. I had to keep her in my room for awhile so that she wouldn’t bolt out the door. She stayed under my bed for a long time, hissing at me. She eventually came to trust me. That is a simplification of what is going on with my grands, but I do think they are truly very frightened human beings.</p><p>I like the idea of therapeutic horses. I found a closer venue and will check it out. I think it would be nice to make it a point to try new things as a family. Slowly, steadily add new experiences.</p><p>Time to shower and go food shopping. Seems like I am always at the grocery store. These guys can eat.</p><p>Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 753036, member: 19522"] I remember our extensive discussion in the Foo forum and how we delved into our own family experience. I think the trauma of dealing with off the rails adult kids forces us to look inward for answers. It is interesting to read that caring for traumatized children brings a lot of our own history to the forefront. It is highly suggested that foster parents consider therapy for this very reason. Trauma is contagious. That’s what I think. Like a ripple effect. If one is not careful, watchful of one’s own deep seated emotions, the trauma can envelope the entire home. It is actually a sort of comfort zone for a traumatized child in their stressed state, it’s all they have known. It will be a long journey to sanity. But I do see subtle changes. It is all dependent on setting a routine, identifying house rules and sticking to them. Trying not to make sudden changes. Finding out what triggers to avoid. Watching the brothers and preventing fights. I am in training Copa. I don’t mean to compare my grands to animals, but they remind me of a feral kitten my daughter found. I had to keep her in my room for awhile so that she wouldn’t bolt out the door. She stayed under my bed for a long time, hissing at me. She eventually came to trust me. That is a simplification of what is going on with my grands, but I do think they are truly very frightened human beings. I like the idea of therapeutic horses. I found a closer venue and will check it out. I think it would be nice to make it a point to try new things as a family. Slowly, steadily add new experiences. Time to shower and go food shopping. Seems like I am always at the grocery store. These guys can eat. Leaf [/QUOTE]
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