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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 753080" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>My experience has been thus, too. My oldest girlfriends ignore the subject. I broke with one of them for many years because each time I spoke with her she'd say, <em>Oh. I didn't remember. </em></p><p></p><p>I see it differently now. I feel it was wrong of me to not offer understanding and heart to her as she was. And we have since made up. But I did tell her, "<em>I felt bad, that you didn't remember</em>, <em>what has been the most painful experience of my life.</em>" I felt I had to speak up for myself and my needs. But why couldn't I have said, at the onset, <em>I need a hug. Or I need you to pay attention to my pain, too.</em> I seem to have chosen girlfriends over my lifetime that are self-interested. I am a good listener (usually). <em>Why did I choose friendships that were not more balanced?</em> That's on me.</p><p></p><p>I have had the hardest time finding support (in the flesh). I feel like I must have morphed into, and show up as a 7 headed monster. I am very, very slow to make myself vulnerable to people. That's changing now because I seem to be changing the people I choose to be around. There are people who are willing to accept and embrace vulnerability.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 753080, member: 18958"] My experience has been thus, too. My oldest girlfriends ignore the subject. I broke with one of them for many years because each time I spoke with her she'd say, [I]Oh. I didn't remember. [/I] I see it differently now. I feel it was wrong of me to not offer understanding and heart to her as she was. And we have since made up. But I did tell her, "[I]I felt bad, that you didn't remember[/I], [I]what has been the most painful experience of my life.[/I]" I felt I had to speak up for myself and my needs. But why couldn't I have said, at the onset, [I]I need a hug. Or I need you to pay attention to my pain, too.[/I] I seem to have chosen girlfriends over my lifetime that are self-interested. I am a good listener (usually). [I]Why did I choose friendships that were not more balanced?[/I] That's on me. I have had the hardest time finding support (in the flesh). I feel like I must have morphed into, and show up as a 7 headed monster. I am very, very slow to make myself vulnerable to people. That's changing now because I seem to be changing the people I choose to be around. There are people who are willing to accept and embrace vulnerability. [/QUOTE]
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