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Parent Emeritus
And the beat goes on.....learning to deal with my son
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<blockquote data-quote="PennyFromTheBlock" data-source="post: 716872" data-attributes="member: 18271"><p>Thanks for the responses. It's been a very stressful week- my stomach has hurt all week, I've not slept well......</p><p></p><p>I followed up with the caseworker today- who shared that regardless of the "you won't see him again!" declaration made by Bonnie and Clyde, they don't have the option- the only caregivers for him are those approved by CPS. The only ones approved? Myself and my daughter.</p><p></p><p>I reiterated to her on the phone that he was NOT raised this way. He's been an adult for 6 years, and I tell him ALL THE TIME that there will come a point where he will have no option but to grow up- unfortunately, I don't know that he ever will. I hate that my son is going to put himself in a position where they have to show him better than they can tell him. I've seen this coming. I knew it would get HERE. </p><p></p><p>I hate the fact that he has all these services available to him- drug counseling, couples counseling for them, and they are going to have a parenting assessment done (on both of them) and this will likely lead to Parenting classes and he resents this rather than takes advantage. He chooses to be OFFENDED. He desperately needs these services. </p><p></p><p>In my "I am not educated in this but know him" kind of way- I know that he has this very skewed version of what a dad is supposed to look like- authoritarian, disciplinarian (ironically, he NOW says that I didn't control him ENOUGH growing up, which has led to him being 'the way he is' today, and he 'won't allow his son to be like he was')- the child JUST turned 2. </p><p></p><p>I've even said- if you can't control your own emotions and anger, how in the hell do you expect a 2 year old to have the ability to control his? WHAT HE DOES IS NORMAL. DON'T BREAK HIS SPIRIT! DON'T BE THE BULLY HE HAS TO BATTLE! Compliance out of fear is not the same as compliance out of respect.</p><p></p><p>I WASN'T a perfect mother. No one is. But I tried. And God bless if I had access to the information (via internet) the way they do- I imagine I would have been even BETTER.</p><p></p><p>So, the test is Sunday. She goes back to work on Sunday. And I have to go out of town for work on Monday- so it'll be my daughter who has him the rest of the week. THAT is my main concern.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PennyFromTheBlock, post: 716872, member: 18271"] Thanks for the responses. It's been a very stressful week- my stomach has hurt all week, I've not slept well...... I followed up with the caseworker today- who shared that regardless of the "you won't see him again!" declaration made by Bonnie and Clyde, they don't have the option- the only caregivers for him are those approved by CPS. The only ones approved? Myself and my daughter. I reiterated to her on the phone that he was NOT raised this way. He's been an adult for 6 years, and I tell him ALL THE TIME that there will come a point where he will have no option but to grow up- unfortunately, I don't know that he ever will. I hate that my son is going to put himself in a position where they have to show him better than they can tell him. I've seen this coming. I knew it would get HERE. I hate the fact that he has all these services available to him- drug counseling, couples counseling for them, and they are going to have a parenting assessment done (on both of them) and this will likely lead to Parenting classes and he resents this rather than takes advantage. He chooses to be OFFENDED. He desperately needs these services. In my "I am not educated in this but know him" kind of way- I know that he has this very skewed version of what a dad is supposed to look like- authoritarian, disciplinarian (ironically, he NOW says that I didn't control him ENOUGH growing up, which has led to him being 'the way he is' today, and he 'won't allow his son to be like he was')- the child JUST turned 2. I've even said- if you can't control your own emotions and anger, how in the hell do you expect a 2 year old to have the ability to control his? WHAT HE DOES IS NORMAL. DON'T BREAK HIS SPIRIT! DON'T BE THE BULLY HE HAS TO BATTLE! Compliance out of fear is not the same as compliance out of respect. I WASN'T a perfect mother. No one is. But I tried. And God bless if I had access to the information (via internet) the way they do- I imagine I would have been even BETTER. So, the test is Sunday. She goes back to work on Sunday. And I have to go out of town for work on Monday- so it'll be my daughter who has him the rest of the week. THAT is my main concern. [/QUOTE]
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