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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 696243" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Copa...I am not sure what your parents did to make you feel it was decent and right to completely cut out two people who loved you, if they did. I do agree you are a good person, but if you truly cut off your parents, forcing them to grieve as I did when my son cut me off totally, then I think you are a good person who did a very cruel thing. I can only imagine how you hurt them by throwing them away for whatever reason. I do not feel this is ever okay.</p><p>What if your son disappeared for twelve years with no word? He won't partly because he needs you financially, but if he were financially secure he could cut you out. You would never know what happened, if he married, if you had grandkids you don't know. Would this be ok in your heart? Would you be able to just go on with your life?</p><p>Estrangement tends to be familial. Our kids see how we treat our people who love us. Often they copy what they see us do.</p><p>This has not yet happened to you. I hope it never does. But I don't think it is ever okay to cause a parent to experience the living death of their child, even if we don't depend on them financially or even if we see their flaws.</p><p>A more selfish man than my father does not exist. He has never even really been a father. But he loves me and I won't destroy him because he did not know how to do better or just because he was selfish and did know better. I don't punish.</p><p>I have first hand knowledge of being tossed to the wind by a child. He probably thinks he has a good reason too. But it hurt; it wounded; if he had been my only child it may have killed me.</p><p>No. Unless a father molested or broke his child's bones; unless a mother forced her child to beg, steal, be a prostitute, go hungry. .. I do not agree that it is okay to do a cut off. No, it's the meanest thing one can do to a parent. Nothing is worse. It may be the easiest route for some, but is it not cowardly?</p><p>Copa you ARE kind and in the end you hurt for what you did.</p><p>Most estranged parents apologize more than they can count and it doesn't lead to a resolution.</p><p></p><p> You too may want to read the estranged parent sites. Just put"estranged parents of adult children" in your search engine, pick a forum with a community, and read the pain. Not to hurt yourself. To learn what this does to parents. For knowledge.</p><p>Most people don't know.</p><p></p><p>Have a peaceful evening, both.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 696243, member: 1550"] Copa...I am not sure what your parents did to make you feel it was decent and right to completely cut out two people who loved you, if they did. I do agree you are a good person, but if you truly cut off your parents, forcing them to grieve as I did when my son cut me off totally, then I think you are a good person who did a very cruel thing. I can only imagine how you hurt them by throwing them away for whatever reason. I do not feel this is ever okay. What if your son disappeared for twelve years with no word? He won't partly because he needs you financially, but if he were financially secure he could cut you out. You would never know what happened, if he married, if you had grandkids you don't know. Would this be ok in your heart? Would you be able to just go on with your life? Estrangement tends to be familial. Our kids see how we treat our people who love us. Often they copy what they see us do. This has not yet happened to you. I hope it never does. But I don't think it is ever okay to cause a parent to experience the living death of their child, even if we don't depend on them financially or even if we see their flaws. A more selfish man than my father does not exist. He has never even really been a father. But he loves me and I won't destroy him because he did not know how to do better or just because he was selfish and did know better. I don't punish. I have first hand knowledge of being tossed to the wind by a child. He probably thinks he has a good reason too. But it hurt; it wounded; if he had been my only child it may have killed me. No. Unless a father molested or broke his child's bones; unless a mother forced her child to beg, steal, be a prostitute, go hungry. .. I do not agree that it is okay to do a cut off. No, it's the meanest thing one can do to a parent. Nothing is worse. It may be the easiest route for some, but is it not cowardly? Copa you ARE kind and in the end you hurt for what you did. Most estranged parents apologize more than they can count and it doesn't lead to a resolution. You too may want to read the estranged parent sites. Just put"estranged parents of adult children" in your search engine, pick a forum with a community, and read the pain. Not to hurt yourself. To learn what this does to parents. For knowledge. Most people don't know. Have a peaceful evening, both. [/QUOTE]
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