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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 755148" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Bearsmom. I wasn’t on CD too much for a while so I backtracked on your posts. I have two daughters heavy in to meth and what you describe sounds like your hubs daughter is too. They don’t care about anything but the next high. Will lie, steal and manipulate, the drug basically takes away conscience.</p><p>Shucks, my quote thingee is not working. Any help your husband gives your daughter is funding her habit. Sorry, preaching to the choir.</p><p>I was my own daughters adversary as I stopped enabling and watched horrified as my hubs did her laundry, fed her and possibly gave her money, then she would disappear into the darkness of her choices. She loomed over me, threateningly a few times. My own flesh and blood. It is called triangulation. This caused a divide in our marriage, that is what it’s meant to do. So, you become the nagging bad guy, while poor defenseless daughter manipulates your husband.</p><p>I was afraid of my own daughter, meth is notorious for causing folks to become dark and violent. You should not feel guilty for not wanting hubs daughter live with you. That’s instinct protecting you. Your intuition is correct.</p><p>I went to a therapist to get my head on straight and scoured the internet to understand addiction to meth. It’s not a pretty picture. There are addicts who have recovered, but they have to <em>want</em> to.</p><p>You can’t change the choices your husband makes. He will have to learn the hard way. I put my foot down and hubs kept enabling, but told our daughter not to come around unless he was home.</p><p>Counseling helped me sort through all this stuff and validated my convictions. Unfortunately, hubs succumbed to illness and passed. That did not stop our daughters spiraling, choosing abusive boyfriends and living in squalor on the street.</p><p>I am sorry I don’t have much to offer with advice. Just to keep your wits about you and read up on the disease. Leave a book or webpage open for your husband to see. Go to naranon or alanon and invite him to go with you. Or, watch a documentary on meth at home. Knowledge is empowering,</p><p>Meth is insidious.</p><p>I sorry for your struggle with this. It is hard when we see things our mates do not.</p><p>You are not lost, you are aware, and awake.</p><p>Please know you are not alone.</p><p>Stay strong.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 755148, member: 19522"] Hi Bearsmom. I wasn’t on CD too much for a while so I backtracked on your posts. I have two daughters heavy in to meth and what you describe sounds like your hubs daughter is too. They don’t care about anything but the next high. Will lie, steal and manipulate, the drug basically takes away conscience. Shucks, my quote thingee is not working. Any help your husband gives your daughter is funding her habit. Sorry, preaching to the choir. I was my own daughters adversary as I stopped enabling and watched horrified as my hubs did her laundry, fed her and possibly gave her money, then she would disappear into the darkness of her choices. She loomed over me, threateningly a few times. My own flesh and blood. It is called triangulation. This caused a divide in our marriage, that is what it’s meant to do. So, you become the nagging bad guy, while poor defenseless daughter manipulates your husband. I was afraid of my own daughter, meth is notorious for causing folks to become dark and violent. You should not feel guilty for not wanting hubs daughter live with you. That’s instinct protecting you. Your intuition is correct. I went to a therapist to get my head on straight and scoured the internet to understand addiction to meth. It’s not a pretty picture. There are addicts who have recovered, but they have to [I]want[/I] to. You can’t change the choices your husband makes. He will have to learn the hard way. I put my foot down and hubs kept enabling, but told our daughter not to come around unless he was home. Counseling helped me sort through all this stuff and validated my convictions. Unfortunately, hubs succumbed to illness and passed. That did not stop our daughters spiraling, choosing abusive boyfriends and living in squalor on the street. I am sorry I don’t have much to offer with advice. Just to keep your wits about you and read up on the disease. Leave a book or webpage open for your husband to see. Go to naranon or alanon and invite him to go with you. Or, watch a documentary on meth at home. Knowledge is empowering, Meth is insidious. I sorry for your struggle with this. It is hard when we see things our mates do not. You are not lost, you are aware, and awake. Please know you are not alone. Stay strong. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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