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Another development, another update. Oy.
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 616111" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I am so glad to hear that you and husband are better. Pleased also about husband and the oysters!!</p><p></p><p>I understand the "burying yourself alive" completely. I think if we bury our angers, our truths, our authentic selves, the sense of being "buried" or "stuck" or depressed or angry or resentful is pretty great.</p><p></p><p>Well, from the perspective of some Shamanic beliefs, the soul becomes fragmented when trauma happens. Shamans go on "soul retrieval" quests to bring back the "fragments" so the person can be healed or in essence made whole again..........it seems, for me in my journey, that my difficult child pushed me back to the root of my own negative patterns and pushed me to look within. In doing so, I expressed old feelings and got in touch with and "broke through" old stuck places............bringing the fragments of myself together........wholeness. </p><p></p><p>As Maya Angelou said, "<em>anger is like fire. It burns it all clean."</em> I'm very happy that you see your anger as a triumph, I see that in myself as well. I believe that 'old' anger, when it is expressed, has the capacity to burn through our own resistance, fear, uncertainty, sorrow and guilt and free us. Women expressing anger is often not seen as appropriate, and when we are angry in our roles as mothers, oh boy, not much support or understanding there. If we're defining motherhood as our only value, then we will certainly need to protect that status and not want to feel or be seen as inadequate. What a trap. Stuck. Buried alive. </p><p></p><p>In my case, my daughter's recent behavior and my response to her unearthed all the old patterns ....... my ability to adhere to the old "script" was somewhat broken down already............and with all that help around me reminding me of my own worth and value and right to set strict boundaries, protect myself, make sure I was cared for, demand respect............it all came together for me when I was ready to make a big shift. I was simply unwilling to continue down the same old tried and true. I had become more valuable to myself then the power of the old "script." </p><p></p><p>My belief is that suppressing feelings, however we do that, prevents us from being truly whole, authentic, honest, real and vitally alive. If one can't acknowledge and express anger (appropriately), then it would certainly make having an authentic, balanced healthy persona impossible to attain. Quite a large missing "fragment." </p><p></p><p>I also believe that anger unhooks our dynamic, courageous, adventurous, risk taking, creative, engaged, 'showing up in life in a big way'..........self. We need that part to be fully real.</p><p></p><p>You are doing such a good job Cedar of seeing all of the different fragments of yourself..........some probably need to be reinterpreted or allowed to disappear or strengthened, but the 'tapestry' is weaving itself BACK together in a stronger, more colorful, interesting, beautiful, intricate, lovely design.........one which now works to be what it was always meant to be.</p><p></p><p>Breaking through and breaking out...............it's a very good thing.........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 616111, member: 13542"] I am so glad to hear that you and husband are better. Pleased also about husband and the oysters!! I understand the "burying yourself alive" completely. I think if we bury our angers, our truths, our authentic selves, the sense of being "buried" or "stuck" or depressed or angry or resentful is pretty great. Well, from the perspective of some Shamanic beliefs, the soul becomes fragmented when trauma happens. Shamans go on "soul retrieval" quests to bring back the "fragments" so the person can be healed or in essence made whole again..........it seems, for me in my journey, that my difficult child pushed me back to the root of my own negative patterns and pushed me to look within. In doing so, I expressed old feelings and got in touch with and "broke through" old stuck places............bringing the fragments of myself together........wholeness. As Maya Angelou said, "[I]anger is like fire. It burns it all clean."[/I] I'm very happy that you see your anger as a triumph, I see that in myself as well. I believe that 'old' anger, when it is expressed, has the capacity to burn through our own resistance, fear, uncertainty, sorrow and guilt and free us. Women expressing anger is often not seen as appropriate, and when we are angry in our roles as mothers, oh boy, not much support or understanding there. If we're defining motherhood as our only value, then we will certainly need to protect that status and not want to feel or be seen as inadequate. What a trap. Stuck. Buried alive. In my case, my daughter's recent behavior and my response to her unearthed all the old patterns ....... my ability to adhere to the old "script" was somewhat broken down already............and with all that help around me reminding me of my own worth and value and right to set strict boundaries, protect myself, make sure I was cared for, demand respect............it all came together for me when I was ready to make a big shift. I was simply unwilling to continue down the same old tried and true. I had become more valuable to myself then the power of the old "script." My belief is that suppressing feelings, however we do that, prevents us from being truly whole, authentic, honest, real and vitally alive. If one can't acknowledge and express anger (appropriately), then it would certainly make having an authentic, balanced healthy persona impossible to attain. Quite a large missing "fragment." I also believe that anger unhooks our dynamic, courageous, adventurous, risk taking, creative, engaged, 'showing up in life in a big way'..........self. We need that part to be fully real. You are doing such a good job Cedar of seeing all of the different fragments of yourself..........some probably need to be reinterpreted or allowed to disappear or strengthened, but the 'tapestry' is weaving itself BACK together in a stronger, more colorful, interesting, beautiful, intricate, lovely design.........one which now works to be what it was always meant to be. Breaking through and breaking out...............it's a very good thing......... [/QUOTE]
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