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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 766467" data-attributes="member: 18958">I mean, clearly I don't know what G-d wants, but personally I don't think this cycle of what New Leaf calls, wash, rinse, repeat is good for us. But that doesn't mean we give up.Well. A while back you thought of traveling to Phoenix. I know this must sound like lunacy. Each time I went to the metro where my son was homeless, even when he assured me he would meet me, it was a bust. He didn't show. All it was for me was a few hour train ride each way. I am of the impression that Phoenix is very far away from where you live. Even across the country.I don't think it was one bit foolish to ask the people to pray, to love him, to watch for him. Look at the response you got!!I know.&nbsp; But I don't think this is an off/on switch. I think there are other notches on the dial.&nbsp; We tried again, letting my son come back to a rental apartment I own. It was a disaster. He left. But that does not mean that I have to &quot;let him go&quot; or &quot;give up.&quot;My son is not using Fentanyl as far as I know but he has other very high risk factors. He has untreated Hepatitis B. He is brain injured. He does use other drugs. I live with the fear he will die. But I don't have to either deaden myself or give him up. I don't want to be dead and I don't want to give up or give him up.I don't know the answer.&nbsp;&nbsp; I think it's reassuring that Josh hangs out where he is known, with what is familiar and where he can be found. Josh knows you know where he is. In a peculiar kind of way, he is seeking safety.&nbsp; I don't know how people recover from Fentanyl. There are a lot of things i don't know about Josh, like for one, where he gets the money to buy the drug. My son is on SSI. He uses that money.I guess what I am trying to say is the issue here is we have to find another notch on that dial. So that we aren't in constant freefall.&nbsp; But I don't think the answer is letting go. I really don't. Nor do I think, Beta, that you're capable of it. I really don't.&nbsp; Love, CopaPS I don't think this was a &quot;failed attempt.&quot; Every contact reminds Josh one more time how much he is loved.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 766467, member: 18958"] I mean, clearly I don't know what G-d wants, but personally I don't think this cycle of what New Leaf calls, wash, rinse, repeat is good for us. But that doesn't mean we give up. Well. A while back you thought of traveling to Phoenix. I know this must sound like lunacy. Each time I went to the metro where my son was homeless, even when he assured me he would meet me, it was a bust. He didn't show. All it was for me was a few hour train ride each way. I am of the impression that Phoenix is very far away from where you live. Even across the country. I don't think it was one bit foolish to ask the people to pray, to love him, to watch for him. Look at the response you got!! I know. But I don't think this is an off/on switch. I think there are other notches on the dial. We tried again, letting my son come back to a rental apartment I own. It was a disaster. He left. But that does not mean that I have to "let him go" or "give up." My son is not using Fentanyl as far as I know but he has other very high risk factors. He has untreated Hepatitis B. He is brain injured. He does use other drugs. I live with the fear he will die. But I don't have to either deaden myself or give him up. I don't want to be dead and I don't want to give up or give him up. I don't know the answer. I think it's reassuring that Josh hangs out where he is known, with what is familiar and where he can be found. Josh knows you know where he is. In a peculiar kind of way, he is seeking safety. I don't know how people recover from Fentanyl. There are a lot of things i don't know about Josh, like for one, where he gets the money to buy the drug. My son is on SSI. He uses that money. I guess what I am trying to say is the issue here is we have to find another notch on that dial. So that we aren't in constant freefall. But I don't think the answer is letting go. I really don't. Nor do I think, Beta, that you're capable of it. I really don't. Love, Copa PS I don't think this was a "failed attempt." Every contact reminds Josh one more time how much he is loved. [/QUOTE]

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