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<blockquote data-quote="Fairy dust" data-source="post: 766551" data-attributes="member: 25457"><p>So much sadness in these stories and on this site. However only we can understand each others pain, grief and sadness as the story threads are so similar. What I do know is this. We all did the best we could for our adult children with the tools we had in our toolbox to give.&nbsp; They are now adults and make their choices, albeit not the choices we would have wished for them. We warriors however also have choices to make and for me I am working so hard to reclaim my life. My happiness cannot be contingent on my son, and his choices. I have the right to feel joy again, even in the smallest of things. I have the responsibility to give that joy back to me. I imagine myself as a little girl and feel so sad that I have starved her for many years of joy and happiness by chasing after my son, of whom I have no control, and wanting so desperately to have the relationship I dreamed of with him. No more.&nbsp; I must reclaim my life. I must take care of me. I must show the little girl that she does matter, her heart and love does matter and to do my best to give her joy and happiness, the joy and happiness I for so long didn’t think I deserved because of the son issues. I deserve it, we deserve it and by the grace of the universe our wayward children will discover that they deserve joy and happiness too. Hugs to you all.</p></blockquote><p></p>

[QUOTE="Fairy dust, post: 766551, member: 25457"] So much sadness in these stories and on this site. However only we can understand each others pain, grief and sadness as the story threads are so similar. What I do know is this. We all did the best we could for our adult children with the tools we had in our toolbox to give. They are now adults and make their choices, albeit not the choices we would have wished for them. We warriors however also have choices to make and for me I am working so hard to reclaim my life. My happiness cannot be contingent on my son, and his choices. I have the right to feel joy again, even in the smallest of things. I have the responsibility to give that joy back to me. I imagine myself as a little girl and feel so sad that I have starved her for many years of joy and happiness by chasing after my son, of whom I have no control, and wanting so desperately to have the relationship I dreamed of with him. No more. I must reclaim my life. I must take care of me. I must show the little girl that she does matter, her heart and love does matter and to do my best to give her joy and happiness, the joy and happiness I for so long didn’t think I deserved because of the son issues. I deserve it, we deserve it and by the grace of the universe our wayward children will discover that they deserve joy and happiness too. Hugs to you all. [/QUOTE]

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