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<blockquote data-quote="bluebell" data-source="post: 739804" data-attributes="member: 16761"><p>I'm so sorry leafy, especially on that date. My heart goes out to you over the loss of your husband. I lost my very close mother at 25 when my difficult child was 7 months old, I know it's not the same grief but it has shaped my life so I get it. My son doesn't have children (yet), but I wonder if he will use our 'bad' parenting to justify his own. I've thought about this. Where does this stop? Is there one common 'bad' ancestor who is to blame for all of their mistakes in their mind, I mean it's not like I say 'I parent you horribly because my parents did a horrible job'. That's just not how it works, we don't get a pass. I've even tried to invoke empathy in my son regarding the grief his father (he lost a parent around the same time) and I were under during his early childhood, but he just looks at me with a blank stare. Obviously your daughter is not acknowledging your grief, just curious did she grieve for her father? </p><p></p><p>My son's birthday is Monday and husband and I were buying my son a magnificent collection of toiletries (I am doing it for me). We were looking at the birthday cards and nothing fit except one with a kid on the toilet on the front and you opened it and it said 'See I do give a **** about your birthday.' Had a good laugh, reminded me of what your daughter said about God caring. Not getting it of course, don't want to poke the bear!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bluebell, post: 739804, member: 16761"] I'm so sorry leafy, especially on that date. My heart goes out to you over the loss of your husband. I lost my very close mother at 25 when my difficult child was 7 months old, I know it's not the same grief but it has shaped my life so I get it. My son doesn't have children (yet), but I wonder if he will use our 'bad' parenting to justify his own. I've thought about this. Where does this stop? Is there one common 'bad' ancestor who is to blame for all of their mistakes in their mind, I mean it's not like I say 'I parent you horribly because my parents did a horrible job'. That's just not how it works, we don't get a pass. I've even tried to invoke empathy in my son regarding the grief his father (he lost a parent around the same time) and I were under during his early childhood, but he just looks at me with a blank stare. Obviously your daughter is not acknowledging your grief, just curious did she grieve for her father? My son's birthday is Monday and husband and I were buying my son a magnificent collection of toiletries (I am doing it for me). We were looking at the birthday cards and nothing fit except one with a kid on the toilet on the front and you opened it and it said 'See I do give a **** about your birthday.' Had a good laugh, reminded me of what your daughter said about God caring. Not getting it of course, don't want to poke the bear! [/QUOTE]
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