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Family of Origin
Another point of view on Shunning. And shunning vs. no contact
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 674771" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I hope I am not stirring controversy. I think this relates. Forgive me, Serenity, if it does not. </p><p></p><p>I agree with you Serenity. I believe that there is understandable confusion about events in our lives, our wrongful sense of culpability and sense of responsibility, when we have been victims.</p><p></p><p>Some of us end up with the sense that what happened to us is our fault, we deserved it. When we were really victims of abuse.</p><p></p><p>Some of us get frozen into our sense of ourselves as victims and hide behind that, never looking at the effects of our own behaviors and attitudes on others.</p><p></p><p>Some of us are both victims and perpetrators.</p><p></p><p>I listen to the radio as I am on the computer. A story caught my attention about which I had not heard. A female student alleged she was raped by a man with whom she had a consensual relationship. He was brought before a hearing committee by Columbia. The college did not discipline him, finding no grounds to do so. The young woman then took to carrying around a mattress everywhere on campus, weighing 50 pounds, to protest what she saw as the culpability of the man and the University, declaring she would do so until the young man was expelled. He was not. She used this "performance art" as her senior thesis and carried the mattress to her graduation. She has gained worldwide fame/notoriety as has the young man.</p><p></p><p>Below I have excerpted a statement by the feminist Camille Paglia, with her thoughts about the position of Emma Solkowitz the young woman involved.</p><p></p><p>Uh Oh. It did not copy effectively. I will post this and come back with the quote.</p><p></p><p><a href="https://nyoobserver.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/454693112.jpg?quality=80" target="_blank"><img src="https://nyoobserver.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/454693112.jpg?quality=80&w=635" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></a></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Although Ms. Sulkowicz’s project was intended to be a campaign against sexual assault, at her campus and all American universities, Ms. Paglia sees it as a form of self-victimization.</p><p></p><p><a href="https://nyoobserver.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/camillepaglia2.jpg?quality=80" target="_blank"><img src="https://nyoobserver.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/camillepaglia2.jpg?quality=80&w=635" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></a></p><p>Self-proclaimed ‘dissident feminist,’ Camille Paglia. </p><p></p><p>“I’d give her a D!” Ms. Paglia, a professor at University of the Arts in Philadelphia, told Salon (<em>ArtNet News</em><a href="https://news.artnet.com/in-brief/camille-paglia-criticizes-emma-sulkowicz-320975" target="_blank">first picked up on the comments</a>). “I call it ‘mattress feminism.’ Perpetually lugging around your bad memories—never evolving or moving on!”</p><p></p><p>Ms. Paglia prides herself on her thick-skinned, “Amazon” brand of feminism “where you remain vigilant, learn how to defend yourself, and take responsibility for the choices you make. If something bad happens, you learn from it. You become stronger and move on.”</p><p></p><p>“Columbia…utterly disgraced itself in how it handled that case. It enabled this protracted masochistic exercise where a young woman trapped herself in her own bad memories and publicly labeled herself as a victim, which will now be her identity forever. This isn’t feminism—which should empower women, not cripple them.”</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 674771, member: 18958"] I hope I am not stirring controversy. I think this relates. Forgive me, Serenity, if it does not. I agree with you Serenity. I believe that there is understandable confusion about events in our lives, our wrongful sense of culpability and sense of responsibility, when we have been victims. Some of us end up with the sense that what happened to us is our fault, we deserved it. When we were really victims of abuse. Some of us get frozen into our sense of ourselves as victims and hide behind that, never looking at the effects of our own behaviors and attitudes on others. Some of us are both victims and perpetrators. I listen to the radio as I am on the computer. A story caught my attention about which I had not heard. A female student alleged she was raped by a man with whom she had a consensual relationship. He was brought before a hearing committee by Columbia. The college did not discipline him, finding no grounds to do so. The young woman then took to carrying around a mattress everywhere on campus, weighing 50 pounds, to protest what she saw as the culpability of the man and the University, declaring she would do so until the young man was expelled. He was not. She used this "performance art" as her senior thesis and carried the mattress to her graduation. She has gained worldwide fame/notoriety as has the young man. Below I have excerpted a statement by the feminist Camille Paglia, with her thoughts about the position of Emma Solkowitz the young woman involved. Uh Oh. It did not copy effectively. I will post this and come back with the quote. [URL='https://nyoobserver.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/454693112.jpg?quality=80'][IMG]https://nyoobserver.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/454693112.jpg?quality=80&w=635[/IMG][/URL] Although Ms. Sulkowicz’s project was intended to be a campaign against sexual assault, at her campus and all American universities, Ms. Paglia sees it as a form of self-victimization. [URL='https://nyoobserver.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/camillepaglia2.jpg?quality=80'][IMG]https://nyoobserver.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/camillepaglia2.jpg?quality=80&w=635[/IMG][/URL] Self-proclaimed ‘dissident feminist,’ Camille Paglia. “I’d give her a D!” Ms. Paglia, a professor at University of the Arts in Philadelphia, told Salon ([I]ArtNet News[/I][URL='https://news.artnet.com/in-brief/camille-paglia-criticizes-emma-sulkowicz-320975']first picked up on the comments[/URL]). “I call it ‘mattress feminism.’ Perpetually lugging around your bad memories—never evolving or moving on!” Ms. Paglia prides herself on her thick-skinned, “Amazon” brand of feminism “where you remain vigilant, learn how to defend yourself, and take responsibility for the choices you make. If something bad happens, you learn from it. You become stronger and move on.” “Columbia…utterly disgraced itself in how it handled that case. It enabled this protracted masochistic exercise where a young woman trapped herself in her own bad memories and publicly labeled herself as a victim, which will now be her identity forever. This isn’t feminism—which should empower women, not cripple them.” [/QUOTE]
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Another point of view on Shunning. And shunning vs. no contact
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