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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 649692" data-attributes="member: 17309">I think, all things considered, I'm doing pretty well actually.&nbsp; After all, never in my wildest dreams would I have dreamed I'd have kicked him out with no money and no place to go.&nbsp; But I did.&nbsp; Never did I dream he'd be homeless.&nbsp; But he was.&nbsp; Never did I think he'd be getting food from food pantries and church charities instead of eating at home.&nbsp; But he is.&nbsp; I hated telling him no.&nbsp; I hated having to choose between doing what I wanted, just feed him, and what Jabber wanted me to do.&nbsp; I didn't help him.&nbsp; But I didn't do it because it was best for him or because it was best for me, I did it because I my husband didn't want me to.&nbsp; And it doesn't feel right.&nbsp; What would have felt right would have been to actually talk to my son, to give him a tiny bit of food and to try, again, to get him on the right track.&nbsp; It probably wouldn't do any good.&nbsp; But it would have felt right to try.I'm NOT going to be taking care of him when he's 30.&nbsp; I'm not taking care of him now at 19.&nbsp; But I WILL be helping him if he's in real need when he's 50 - if he's otherwise living a decent life.&nbsp; Just like Jabber's parents would help up right this minute if we were in desperate straights.&nbsp; It's a tightrope.&nbsp; We are not cutting him off completely...we're not disowning him or going no-contact.&nbsp; So we have to deal.&nbsp; It is hard, trying to decide how much is too much.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Lil, post: 649692, member: 17309"] I think[I], [/I]all things considered, I'm doing pretty well actually. After all, never in my wildest dreams would I have dreamed I'd have kicked him out with no money and no place to go. But I did. Never did I dream he'd be homeless. But he was. Never did I think he'd be getting food from food pantries and church charities instead of eating at home. But he is. I hated telling him no. I hated having to choose between doing what I wanted, just feed him, and what Jabber wanted me to do. I didn't help him. But I didn't do it because it was best for him or because it was best for me, I did it because I my husband didn't want me to. And it [I]doesn't[/I] feel right. What would have felt right would have been to actually talk to my son, to give him a tiny bit of food and to try, again, to get him on the right track. It probably wouldn't do any good. But it would have felt right to try. I'm NOT going to be taking care of him when he's 30. I'm not taking care of him now at 19. But I WILL be helping him if he's in real need when he's 50 - if he's otherwise living a decent life. Just like Jabber's parents would help up right this minute if we were in desperate straights. It's a tightrope. We are not cutting him off completely...we're not disowning him or going no-contact. So we have to deal. It is hard, trying to decide how much is too much. [/QUOTE]

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