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Ant makes detachment so easy....
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 469522" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Mom2....yours isnt the only one who has that issue and who the whole world catered to and enabled. They did it to and with Cory too. I got so mad, fed up and in fact, I stomped my feet a few times with the courts, juvenile probation officers, mental health folks...you get the picture. </p><p></p><p>Folks would tell Cory X would happen if he did Y but then it wouldnt happen. He was on probation when he was 14 for something. At this point I cant even remember what. His sentence was a years probation, 7 days active in juvy that was suspended and held over his head, rules were to obey parents rules, go to school, get a C average or above, attend mental health, take his medications, obey curfew, blah blah blah. </p><p></p><p>This all happened in the summer he turned 14. He turned 14 in July so it had to be either late July or early August. School started late August. He was skipping school by the first week of September. He was in 8th grade. I immediately called his probation officer and reported this to him. He said he would talk to him about it. Sigh. I knew I was in trouble. Cory continued to skip school. I would take him to school myself and physically hand him off to the teacher...my hand on his and put Cory's hand into the teachers hand. I would drive to work and have my coworkers tell me they saw Cory on the road heading home! I would call the PO. He would "talk" to him. Nothing was done. In fact, after one of my reports about skipping school, the PO took Cory to a Xmas party! </p><p></p><p>One time when Cory skipped school, he went into a grocery store and shoplifted dog collars that would fit puppies. We had no puppies! He was caught and the police were called. They had him in the office in the back of the store and had called his dad. Cory was begging them to take him to jail instead of calling his dad...lol. The cops, Cory and his dad were all in the office talking to him. Cory kept telling them that if he didnt go to jail his dad was gonna kill him for this. Cop told him he ought to. Tony looked at him and said can I? Cop just said be my guest. Tony whipped the tar out of him and the cops walked out and said no need to arrest him, parents taking care of it better than we could. True actually. Cory was more afraid of us than the police. </p><p></p><p>Then in April, almost 9 months after I had started calling the probation officer about Cory starting to skip school he finally decided to violate him for his first instance of skipping school in September. Never mind the fact that he ended up skipping 88 days by the time 8th grade ended. The violation was for 3 days in September! I was ******. </p><p></p><p>Then as an adult, oh gosh...every time he had anything that took him to court it was probation and nothing was done. $50 fine and court costs but they waived them because he didnt have an income. Always a court appointment lawyer if it was anything much. Still nothing happened to him. Until the biggie. No wonder he felt he could get away with anything. Nothing ever had. No one had ever put the breaks on him. No one ever meant what they said. Whenever I told him you cant do X because that means you could get this as punishment, he just thought I was blowing smoke. I never knew anything. I was stupid and he knew it all. Sigh.</p><p></p><p>When I had him charged he was floored. The law finally did work. They finally didnt put up with his junk anymore. It was a long road that was filled with many potholes but finally he has crawled out and pretty much learned that there are laws, they do indeed apply to him and everyone else out there. Gee. Only took about 22 years or so to teach him that lesson. If folks had backed me up on that lesson when he was about 11 or 12, I think he would have had an easier time. He was pretty good about understanding that when he was little but others taught him different when he hit his teens.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 469522, member: 1514"] Mom2....yours isnt the only one who has that issue and who the whole world catered to and enabled. They did it to and with Cory too. I got so mad, fed up and in fact, I stomped my feet a few times with the courts, juvenile probation officers, mental health folks...you get the picture. Folks would tell Cory X would happen if he did Y but then it wouldnt happen. He was on probation when he was 14 for something. At this point I cant even remember what. His sentence was a years probation, 7 days active in juvy that was suspended and held over his head, rules were to obey parents rules, go to school, get a C average or above, attend mental health, take his medications, obey curfew, blah blah blah. This all happened in the summer he turned 14. He turned 14 in July so it had to be either late July or early August. School started late August. He was skipping school by the first week of September. He was in 8th grade. I immediately called his probation officer and reported this to him. He said he would talk to him about it. Sigh. I knew I was in trouble. Cory continued to skip school. I would take him to school myself and physically hand him off to the teacher...my hand on his and put Cory's hand into the teachers hand. I would drive to work and have my coworkers tell me they saw Cory on the road heading home! I would call the PO. He would "talk" to him. Nothing was done. In fact, after one of my reports about skipping school, the PO took Cory to a Xmas party! One time when Cory skipped school, he went into a grocery store and shoplifted dog collars that would fit puppies. We had no puppies! He was caught and the police were called. They had him in the office in the back of the store and had called his dad. Cory was begging them to take him to jail instead of calling his dad...lol. The cops, Cory and his dad were all in the office talking to him. Cory kept telling them that if he didnt go to jail his dad was gonna kill him for this. Cop told him he ought to. Tony looked at him and said can I? Cop just said be my guest. Tony whipped the tar out of him and the cops walked out and said no need to arrest him, parents taking care of it better than we could. True actually. Cory was more afraid of us than the police. Then in April, almost 9 months after I had started calling the probation officer about Cory starting to skip school he finally decided to violate him for his first instance of skipping school in September. Never mind the fact that he ended up skipping 88 days by the time 8th grade ended. The violation was for 3 days in September! I was ******. Then as an adult, oh gosh...every time he had anything that took him to court it was probation and nothing was done. $50 fine and court costs but they waived them because he didnt have an income. Always a court appointment lawyer if it was anything much. Still nothing happened to him. Until the biggie. No wonder he felt he could get away with anything. Nothing ever had. No one had ever put the breaks on him. No one ever meant what they said. Whenever I told him you cant do X because that means you could get this as punishment, he just thought I was blowing smoke. I never knew anything. I was stupid and he knew it all. Sigh. When I had him charged he was floored. The law finally did work. They finally didnt put up with his junk anymore. It was a long road that was filled with many potholes but finally he has crawled out and pretty much learned that there are laws, they do indeed apply to him and everyone else out there. Gee. Only took about 22 years or so to teach him that lesson. If folks had backed me up on that lesson when he was about 11 or 12, I think he would have had an easier time. He was pretty good about understanding that when he was little but others taught him different when he hit his teens. [/QUOTE]
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