Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Anxiety on high alert
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 725343" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Rosanna, welcome. I'm sorry you are going thru this with your son. It is a very difficult path when our kids go off the rails, for whatever reason. </p><p></p><p>You may find some solace and guidance in reading the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. For many of us dealing with our adult kids who are mentally ill, NAMI (the National Alliance on Mental Illness) helps. You can access them online, they have chapters in most cities. They offer parent courses which provide support, information, guidance and resources. I've taken their parent course, it's worth checking into. You may find resources and help for your son there as well.</p><p></p><p>Because this is so challenging for us, many of us choose private therapy or a parent support group. We often require a professional to support us in learning how to detach, to stop enabling, to take care of ourselves in the midst of it all and to set boundaries. </p><p></p><p>If your son is moving out of his best friend's and will not be living with you, you might google local shelters, most towns have shelters and food banks.</p><p></p><p>It helps a lot to write our story and have the experience of being heard by others who are in similar situations. We may not have answers, but we understand where you are, we've been there. It helps to get as much support as you can, here, in therapy, at NAMI, 12 step groups, wherever you feel safe and supported. </p><p></p><p>There is no right or wrong way of dealing with our adult children. You have to do what you can live with. Often it is US who have to do any changing, most of our kids either can't or won't make any changes, so we are left to do the heavy lifting of change. Often that change is learning how to respond differently, figuring out how to care for ourselves during such devastating circumstances, setting realistic boundaries around their behavior and choices, learning to accept what we cannot change, recognizing that this is not our fault, that we didn't cause it nor can we control it or fix it. The feeling of powerlessness in the face of our kids struggles is one of the most difficult things, in my opinion. Once they are adults, there is little we can do to save them from themselves.......and to be on the sidelines watching that movie......well, it is......HARD. Hence, getting as much support as we can.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there Rosanna, keep posting, take very good care of yourself, focus on being kind and compassionate with yourself......I'm glad you're here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 725343, member: 13542"] Rosanna, welcome. I'm sorry you are going thru this with your son. It is a very difficult path when our kids go off the rails, for whatever reason. You may find some solace and guidance in reading the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. For many of us dealing with our adult kids who are mentally ill, NAMI (the National Alliance on Mental Illness) helps. You can access them online, they have chapters in most cities. They offer parent courses which provide support, information, guidance and resources. I've taken their parent course, it's worth checking into. You may find resources and help for your son there as well. Because this is so challenging for us, many of us choose private therapy or a parent support group. We often require a professional to support us in learning how to detach, to stop enabling, to take care of ourselves in the midst of it all and to set boundaries. If your son is moving out of his best friend's and will not be living with you, you might google local shelters, most towns have shelters and food banks. It helps a lot to write our story and have the experience of being heard by others who are in similar situations. We may not have answers, but we understand where you are, we've been there. It helps to get as much support as you can, here, in therapy, at NAMI, 12 step groups, wherever you feel safe and supported. There is no right or wrong way of dealing with our adult children. You have to do what you can live with. Often it is US who have to do any changing, most of our kids either can't or won't make any changes, so we are left to do the heavy lifting of change. Often that change is learning how to respond differently, figuring out how to care for ourselves during such devastating circumstances, setting realistic boundaries around their behavior and choices, learning to accept what we cannot change, recognizing that this is not our fault, that we didn't cause it nor can we control it or fix it. The feeling of powerlessness in the face of our kids struggles is one of the most difficult things, in my opinion. Once they are adults, there is little we can do to save them from themselves.......and to be on the sidelines watching that movie......well, it is......HARD. Hence, getting as much support as we can. Hang in there Rosanna, keep posting, take very good care of yourself, focus on being kind and compassionate with yourself......I'm glad you're here. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Anxiety on high alert
Top