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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 668985" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I feel for you Sam, as mothers we want to know where our children are, even when they are adults. I thought too, my door should always be open. It is definitely different times, cost of living is high. In the old days, families stayed together. The key was, everybody HELPED. They did not hole themselves up in their rooms and affect the household with negativity and snarkiness. My daughters were like that. We tried and tried to help. We were all MISERABLE! The more we helped, the worse they became. We had a series of door closing and openings. Their behavior became so unacceptable, they kicked themselves out, ok we did, but essentially, they did. Then after awhile, they would come around with promises of change wanting to come back home. Not both at the same time, so it became even more crazy with two difficult children one with children of her own going through a revolving door. Our poor young son went through this too. We finally learned the open door policy just didn't work for these two. You see we wanted to help them, they wanted to USE us, and use drugs and all the other stuff that comes with that. They pull at our heartstrings and mother love. They despise our rules, they just want housing. We have homes, they are supposed to be our sanctuary, not a battle zone.</p><p>Yes, you will wonder where your son is. You will miss him, the boy he was, the memories. He is grown up, not the age you would normally separate, but his attitude and choices have forced your hand. You will do yourself, your babies, your husband and your son a big favor, by standing firm. Be strong Mama Bear, fight for your younger Cubs while showing this rebellious one you will not stand for his shenanigans. You have a chance to show them all that you will not put up with the ugliness, it is unacceptable. You have a chance to help your son understand that you will not be participating in his "nightmare" lifestyle. You may never know, it may just be the thing he needs to wake up.</p><p>Keep visiting and posting. You are not alone, we understand.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 668985, member: 19522"] I feel for you Sam, as mothers we want to know where our children are, even when they are adults. I thought too, my door should always be open. It is definitely different times, cost of living is high. In the old days, families stayed together. The key was, everybody HELPED. They did not hole themselves up in their rooms and affect the household with negativity and snarkiness. My daughters were like that. We tried and tried to help. We were all MISERABLE! The more we helped, the worse they became. We had a series of door closing and openings. Their behavior became so unacceptable, they kicked themselves out, ok we did, but essentially, they did. Then after awhile, they would come around with promises of change wanting to come back home. Not both at the same time, so it became even more crazy with two difficult children one with children of her own going through a revolving door. Our poor young son went through this too. We finally learned the open door policy just didn't work for these two. You see we wanted to help them, they wanted to USE us, and use drugs and all the other stuff that comes with that. They pull at our heartstrings and mother love. They despise our rules, they just want housing. We have homes, they are supposed to be our sanctuary, not a battle zone. Yes, you will wonder where your son is. You will miss him, the boy he was, the memories. He is grown up, not the age you would normally separate, but his attitude and choices have forced your hand. You will do yourself, your babies, your husband and your son a big favor, by standing firm. Be strong Mama Bear, fight for your younger Cubs while showing this rebellious one you will not stand for his shenanigans. You have a chance to show them all that you will not put up with the ugliness, it is unacceptable. You have a chance to help your son understand that you will not be participating in his "nightmare" lifestyle. You may never know, it may just be the thing he needs to wake up. Keep visiting and posting. You are not alone, we understand. (((Hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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