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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
anyone else's addict act like this?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tired out" data-source="post: 746675" data-attributes="member: 23103"><p>Round and round we go. He has no "skin in the game" why should he stay on track? Why should he follow the rules? It doesn't cost him anything if he doesn't. You are the one paying. He isn't. It about killed me to say NO and to quit letting my ds manipulate and guilt trip me. You have to stop enabling. In reality you are afraid of his addiction and his relapses. HE needs to be afraid of them and want something better for himself. You can't do it for him. If you are paying for his phone, stop. Stop. then he can't send those texts. Is it normal? Probably for someone who is an addict and doesn't want to admit they are an addict. The way for him to get his way is to get angry and put someone else on the defensive and to make them feel bad for him. He WANTS YOU to feel awful Nice guy isn't he. Lots of love for his mom that has done anything she can for him (yep, speaking from experience) Tell him, " You need to figure this out. "</p><p>Thursday my ds stopped to see me. Of course there was an ulterior motive. He is nice. talks for a few minutes. Precedes to tell me he got fired from his (main) job (he has a full time and a part time. He gave me a story, of course it wasn't his fault (huh. insert eye roll) He will need a little help with rent and insurance (not due till the March 1st, Feb is paid) because of the job loss. I said..Oh come here, he walked over, I said turn around--he was facing a mirror. I told him, "that guy right there, see him? He can help you. He can go get another job and have another income by Monday--lots of jobs in this town" He was NOT happy with me. I said.. If you still need A LITTLE help for March you can come and talk to me AND your dad. If you can show us you have another job but for a legitimate reason you will be short maybe we can help. </p><p>You know what? It is HIS turn to be stressed about money. The same goes for your son. </p><p>I told mine, YOU need to like and respect the man in the mirror.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tired out, post: 746675, member: 23103"] Round and round we go. He has no "skin in the game" why should he stay on track? Why should he follow the rules? It doesn't cost him anything if he doesn't. You are the one paying. He isn't. It about killed me to say NO and to quit letting my ds manipulate and guilt trip me. You have to stop enabling. In reality you are afraid of his addiction and his relapses. HE needs to be afraid of them and want something better for himself. You can't do it for him. If you are paying for his phone, stop. Stop. then he can't send those texts. Is it normal? Probably for someone who is an addict and doesn't want to admit they are an addict. The way for him to get his way is to get angry and put someone else on the defensive and to make them feel bad for him. He WANTS YOU to feel awful Nice guy isn't he. Lots of love for his mom that has done anything she can for him (yep, speaking from experience) Tell him, " You need to figure this out. " Thursday my ds stopped to see me. Of course there was an ulterior motive. He is nice. talks for a few minutes. Precedes to tell me he got fired from his (main) job (he has a full time and a part time. He gave me a story, of course it wasn't his fault (huh. insert eye roll) He will need a little help with rent and insurance (not due till the March 1st, Feb is paid) because of the job loss. I said..Oh come here, he walked over, I said turn around--he was facing a mirror. I told him, "that guy right there, see him? He can help you. He can go get another job and have another income by Monday--lots of jobs in this town" He was NOT happy with me. I said.. If you still need A LITTLE help for March you can come and talk to me AND your dad. If you can show us you have another job but for a legitimate reason you will be short maybe we can help. You know what? It is HIS turn to be stressed about money. The same goes for your son. I told mine, YOU need to like and respect the man in the mirror. [/QUOTE]
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anyone else's addict act like this?
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