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General Parenting
Anyone else's child argue/ say the opposite of EVERYTHING, like a compulsion?
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<blockquote data-quote="Carol9350" data-source="post: 458116" data-attributes="member: 12746"><p><span style="color: #222222">Hi, I'm new to this forum: single mom of an almost 7yo son diagnosed as Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified when he was 4 but showing ODD behaviors for the last couple of years (which have been rough, including our moving out and my separating from his dad, another couple of moves because my ex refuses to let me have the family home, my ex's discovering -- after 20 years of making me miserable and about 10 of raging and verbally abusing me -- that he shouldn't have gotten married in the first place because he's gay, and moving his boyfriend in with him. A whole lot of change for a rigid Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified kid). One of the things my son does is to be a "contrarian" -- he says things are the opposite of what they are, changes a word I say to a nonsense word (lately, he asks, "What does [nonsense word made from mangled version of my word] mean?"), similar behavior to your boy. Most of the time I have treated it as a game and it has not been an issue. One coping mechanism he has developed will get him very angry at times though if you don't play along with it (which I try not to do, while also not telling him it is wrong): he has developed "alternate personas" that allow him to distance himself from the behaviors that worry him, especially frustration-triggered acting out behaviors that got him into a lot of trouble in kindergarten last year (he's changing schools for first grade to a school with emotional/behavioral support as well as the autism support he had last year). Thursday through Sunday he is not Nick, he is "Duckmin the LED Manager." He has a "uniform" consisting of a shirt with a diagram of an LED bulb on it, shorts he considers matching and even underwear that matches (the consistent pair he wears over the pair for the day worn next to his body). He can get pretty angry if you call him Nick and then insist that he IS Nick, though he doesn't consistently get angry. Lately we have settled on Nicholas, because he said that Duckmin is his middle name, he is Nicholas Duckmin, but not Nick. All of this is a long way around to say the behaviors you describe don't sound unrelated to the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) issues. I agree with the other posters that it is a coping mechanism, a way to try to exercise control when for whatever reason they are feeling overwhelmed by what they can't control. I know it can be very unsettling, though -- we had a psychiatrist check Nick out to make sure he didn't truly believe he WAS the alternate persona(s). He is in therapy to help him learn to handle his challenges, and as he progresses, he should stop needing the alternates. In the meantime, it just takes patience (sometimes a LOT of patience).</span></p><p><span style="color: #222222"></span></p><p><span style="color: #222222">Carol A.</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Carol9350, post: 458116, member: 12746"] [COLOR=#222222]Hi, I'm new to this forum: single mom of an almost 7yo son diagnosed as Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified when he was 4 but showing ODD behaviors for the last couple of years (which have been rough, including our moving out and my separating from his dad, another couple of moves because my ex refuses to let me have the family home, my ex's discovering -- after 20 years of making me miserable and about 10 of raging and verbally abusing me -- that he shouldn't have gotten married in the first place because he's gay, and moving his boyfriend in with him. A whole lot of change for a rigid Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified kid). One of the things my son does is to be a "contrarian" -- he says things are the opposite of what they are, changes a word I say to a nonsense word (lately, he asks, "What does [nonsense word made from mangled version of my word] mean?"), similar behavior to your boy. Most of the time I have treated it as a game and it has not been an issue. One coping mechanism he has developed will get him very angry at times though if you don't play along with it (which I try not to do, while also not telling him it is wrong): he has developed "alternate personas" that allow him to distance himself from the behaviors that worry him, especially frustration-triggered acting out behaviors that got him into a lot of trouble in kindergarten last year (he's changing schools for first grade to a school with emotional/behavioral support as well as the autism support he had last year). Thursday through Sunday he is not Nick, he is "Duckmin the LED Manager." He has a "uniform" consisting of a shirt with a diagram of an LED bulb on it, shorts he considers matching and even underwear that matches (the consistent pair he wears over the pair for the day worn next to his body). He can get pretty angry if you call him Nick and then insist that he IS Nick, though he doesn't consistently get angry. Lately we have settled on Nicholas, because he said that Duckmin is his middle name, he is Nicholas Duckmin, but not Nick. All of this is a long way around to say the behaviors you describe don't sound unrelated to the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) issues. I agree with the other posters that it is a coping mechanism, a way to try to exercise control when for whatever reason they are feeling overwhelmed by what they can't control. I know it can be very unsettling, though -- we had a psychiatrist check Nick out to make sure he didn't truly believe he WAS the alternate persona(s). He is in therapy to help him learn to handle his challenges, and as he progresses, he should stop needing the alternates. In the meantime, it just takes patience (sometimes a LOT of patience). Carol A.[/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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Anyone else's child argue/ say the opposite of EVERYTHING, like a compulsion?
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