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Arguments over car
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<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 752493" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>Oh, Copa, that was such an insightful post. I feel like you know me and my feelings. Thank you, truly. Reading what you wrote helped me tremendously. I had already re-read your post to my other question "cleaning" the other day which also helped again today. Yes, I have to let go and it's painful. I go through stages and stages of grief. The story you told of your friend and her bulimic daughter is eerily similar to our family . My husband was dry drunk (untreated) and her and I became two peas in a pod. And I still want that with her which is a deep need within me that undoubtedly has to do with my own Mother, and you are right, is unfair to put on my daughter. It's a very deep, very old pain. I don't want to feel it, so I try to change her (to be like she used to be when she was younger) and it keeps her stuck. I need to let go. So she can grow and be an adult. Changed behavior on my part, making living amends. </p><p></p><p>The car and my boundaries are a separate issue that I need to have the courage to set according to my own needs and wishes. </p><p></p><p>I mix these different issues and feelings together because I get confused with all that is going on </p><p></p><p>Again , thank you. You are a true support and take so much time to answer so many posts here with insight and compassion.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 752493, member: 24254"] Oh, Copa, that was such an insightful post. I feel like you know me and my feelings. Thank you, truly. Reading what you wrote helped me tremendously. I had already re-read your post to my other question "cleaning" the other day which also helped again today. Yes, I have to let go and it's painful. I go through stages and stages of grief. The story you told of your friend and her bulimic daughter is eerily similar to our family . My husband was dry drunk (untreated) and her and I became two peas in a pod. And I still want that with her which is a deep need within me that undoubtedly has to do with my own Mother, and you are right, is unfair to put on my daughter. It's a very deep, very old pain. I don't want to feel it, so I try to change her (to be like she used to be when she was younger) and it keeps her stuck. I need to let go. So she can grow and be an adult. Changed behavior on my part, making living amends. The car and my boundaries are a separate issue that I need to have the courage to set according to my own needs and wishes. I mix these different issues and feelings together because I get confused with all that is going on Again , thank you. You are a true support and take so much time to answer so many posts here with insight and compassion. [/QUOTE]
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