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Article: Fear, obligation and guilt (FOG) in high conflict relationships
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 730547" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Very informative.</p><p></p><p>I have found, at least with myself and my son, that the passive and indirect "demand" steps are the ones most likely to lead to capitulation and FOG. I think many of our difficult children know how to play that passive-aggressive stuff very adroitly. They know that many times we will pressure OURSELVES right out of our own resistance.</p><p></p><p>It was much harder for me to LET him go ahead and (sleep in the woods with a fever, walk 12 miles on a 90-degree day, sell his car for beer money, etc). It was much easier for me to tell him NO if he asked outright. At least asking outright comes from a place of strength.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 730547, member: 17720"] Very informative. I have found, at least with myself and my son, that the passive and indirect "demand" steps are the ones most likely to lead to capitulation and FOG. I think many of our difficult children know how to play that passive-aggressive stuff very adroitly. They know that many times we will pressure OURSELVES right out of our own resistance. It was much harder for me to LET him go ahead and (sleep in the woods with a fever, walk 12 miles on a 90-degree day, sell his car for beer money, etc). It was much easier for me to tell him NO if he asked outright. At least asking outright comes from a place of strength. [/QUOTE]
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Article: Fear, obligation and guilt (FOG) in high conflict relationships
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