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Parent Emeritus
Ashamed, Confused, A Mess
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<blockquote data-quote="Overwhelmed1" data-source="post: 754583" data-attributes="member: 24921"><p>Good evening. I made it home from the holiday visit safely but distressed, wore out and confused. I a ashamed of myself for not putting an end to this year's ago. Stupidly I thought one more time I will help and then my kids would appreciate me and get their lives in order. Hasn't happened and now I'm at my wit's end with enabling them to depend on me for everything. For the last 20 years I have been a mess. Now I cannot think, do anything but go to work. I work, come home and barely do anything at home but sit or sleep. Then there are times I can't sleep at all. </p><p>When I visit my daughter and grandkids, I am under her complete control. I cannot make coffee until she gets up because I don't know how to make it right. She even puts my creamer in because I will use to much. Funny thing is I pay for everything even the creamer. </p><p>Please don't judge me to harshly. I know I am an idiot for letting this go on. I don't know how to stop it without worrying about the grandkids. I don't know if I can live with the guilt of abandoning them. Although, I believe the kids believe the aweful things my daughter tells them about me. </p><p>I know I am the only one that can fix my issues but it is nice to find a place I can talk about it. I also find it astonishing that there are so many of us out here trying to get freedom from so many issues that have a hold of our lives. </p><p>I know how I feel and wouldn't wish this on an enemy let alone a loved one. I hope we can all find peace of mind and comfort here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Overwhelmed1, post: 754583, member: 24921"] Good evening. I made it home from the holiday visit safely but distressed, wore out and confused. I a ashamed of myself for not putting an end to this year's ago. Stupidly I thought one more time I will help and then my kids would appreciate me and get their lives in order. Hasn't happened and now I'm at my wit's end with enabling them to depend on me for everything. For the last 20 years I have been a mess. Now I cannot think, do anything but go to work. I work, come home and barely do anything at home but sit or sleep. Then there are times I can't sleep at all. When I visit my daughter and grandkids, I am under her complete control. I cannot make coffee until she gets up because I don't know how to make it right. She even puts my creamer in because I will use to much. Funny thing is I pay for everything even the creamer. Please don't judge me to harshly. I know I am an idiot for letting this go on. I don't know how to stop it without worrying about the grandkids. I don't know if I can live with the guilt of abandoning them. Although, I believe the kids believe the aweful things my daughter tells them about me. I know I am the only one that can fix my issues but it is nice to find a place I can talk about it. I also find it astonishing that there are so many of us out here trying to get freedom from so many issues that have a hold of our lives. I know how I feel and wouldn't wish this on an enemy let alone a loved one. I hope we can all find peace of mind and comfort here. [/QUOTE]
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Ashamed, Confused, A Mess
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