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At a low point
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<blockquote data-quote="ANewLife4Me" data-source="post: 765325" data-attributes="member: 32799"><p>I am so thankful you have posted, was very worried about you! <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🤗" title="Hugging face :hugging:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f917.png" data-shortname=":hugging:" /> As you know with my daughter we have been through this for 10 years with her now. I understand perfectly the feelings you are experiencing, the shame and guilt, wracking your brain with how you can help him. I wish you could have followed me in my journey to see that no matter what we tried she only went back to old ways. It’s concerning to me that he refuses a drug treatment program as my daughter is refusing mental health options in jail. He says he can manage his treatment on his own and will only accept a half way house. I don’t think he is owning up to his issues and I would become firm on this if he did not attend drug treatment, your help is done. This is a hard thing to face as I am right now, please don’t let it rob you of 10 years of your life until he decides to really make an effort. I know your pain, I know this is the hardest thing you would ever want to do is not help him. But, my experience and others on the board…..sadly he will tell you anything right now to get bond, Anything! Take it from me that them getting out and going right back to where they were is even MORE painful than you feel right now. You will be absolutely shattered as you put everything into helping him and he just threw it all away. Please think of yourself and your daughter, already she is having to adapt and tell lies because of her brother…is this really fair to her? The pressure she is under as well from a strained relationship with him.</p><p></p><p>Today I went out, my daughters next hearing is in June….6 months she will have been in jail and think it’s quite possible she will get time served and be released. Everywhere I drove there are bad memories of her and it made me so very sad. It’s over 90 degrees here in Florida and me imagining her out on the streets with not a place to even sleep, no money, no food…..it’s absolutely killing me! I cannot enjoy the things I once loved going to thrift stores as too many memories flood me. But! This is the very last and ultimate thing we have not made her go through for 10 years but, it must be done. PLEASE PLEASE don’t let this get that far with your son. Set the ground rules NOW, I beg of you. He has to want to do these things, and not you forcing them on him with your ideas. It has to come from him. <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="❤️" title="Red heart :heart:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/2764.png" data-shortname=":heart:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ANewLife4Me, post: 765325, member: 32799"] I am so thankful you have posted, was very worried about you! 🤗 As you know with my daughter we have been through this for 10 years with her now. I understand perfectly the feelings you are experiencing, the shame and guilt, wracking your brain with how you can help him. I wish you could have followed me in my journey to see that no matter what we tried she only went back to old ways. It’s concerning to me that he refuses a drug treatment program as my daughter is refusing mental health options in jail. He says he can manage his treatment on his own and will only accept a half way house. I don’t think he is owning up to his issues and I would become firm on this if he did not attend drug treatment, your help is done. This is a hard thing to face as I am right now, please don’t let it rob you of 10 years of your life until he decides to really make an effort. I know your pain, I know this is the hardest thing you would ever want to do is not help him. But, my experience and others on the board…..sadly he will tell you anything right now to get bond, Anything! Take it from me that them getting out and going right back to where they were is even MORE painful than you feel right now. You will be absolutely shattered as you put everything into helping him and he just threw it all away. Please think of yourself and your daughter, already she is having to adapt and tell lies because of her brother…is this really fair to her? The pressure she is under as well from a strained relationship with him. Today I went out, my daughters next hearing is in June….6 months she will have been in jail and think it’s quite possible she will get time served and be released. Everywhere I drove there are bad memories of her and it made me so very sad. It’s over 90 degrees here in Florida and me imagining her out on the streets with not a place to even sleep, no money, no food…..it’s absolutely killing me! I cannot enjoy the things I once loved going to thrift stores as too many memories flood me. But! This is the very last and ultimate thing we have not made her go through for 10 years but, it must be done. PLEASE PLEASE don’t let this get that far with your son. Set the ground rules NOW, I beg of you. He has to want to do these things, and not you forcing them on him with your ideas. It has to come from him. ❤️ [/QUOTE]
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