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Substance Abuse
At my wits end ...
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 732538" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>AquarianMom, welcome. I'm so sorry you're struggling with the behaviors of your daughter. </p><p></p><p>You've experienced a lot of grief with the passing of your daughter, brother, father, the failing health of your mother and your daughter being off the rails. I hope you have a good support system and that you're giving yourself the time and the space to grieve. </p><p></p><p>Detaching from our adult troubled kids is challenging.....it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. For me, I required the help of therapists, groups, 12 step groups, books and this forum....support thru the process made it bearable and gave me options, information, guidance, compassion and safe places to vent and grieve.</p><p></p><p>If you believe your daughter suffers with mental illness, NAMI may be a viable support system for you. They offer parent courses that are helpful.......many of us here have taken their courses. It's for us.</p><p></p><p>You might want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. </p><p></p><p>As KSM mentioned, 12 step groups like Families anonymous, Al Anon, or Narc Anon may be helpful as well. A good basic reference book is Codependent no more by Melodie Beattie.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is 32 years old, she is the only one who can make a difference in her life. You are powerless. That powerlessness and lack of control over our adult kids is one of the hardest things to deal with......we believe if we just do this one magic thing we can make it better, but we can't, we don't have that power. </p><p></p><p>YOU matter. YOUR life matters. YOUR relationship with your husband and your granddaughter matter. Focus on you and your family, make you and your family the priority. It sounds like you've done everything you can for your daughter, you've done enough. Many of us have to face the possible demise of our adult kids....I understand how devastating that is, I've had to do it myself. Sometimes, all we can do is let go.....and to that end, I would encourage you to find support in whatever fashion works for you. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there.....you're not alone.....many of us have been in your shoes.....keep posting, it helps......I'm glad you're here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 732538, member: 13542"] AquarianMom, welcome. I'm so sorry you're struggling with the behaviors of your daughter. You've experienced a lot of grief with the passing of your daughter, brother, father, the failing health of your mother and your daughter being off the rails. I hope you have a good support system and that you're giving yourself the time and the space to grieve. Detaching from our adult troubled kids is challenging.....it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. For me, I required the help of therapists, groups, 12 step groups, books and this forum....support thru the process made it bearable and gave me options, information, guidance, compassion and safe places to vent and grieve. If you believe your daughter suffers with mental illness, NAMI may be a viable support system for you. They offer parent courses that are helpful.......many of us here have taken their courses. It's for us. You might want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. As KSM mentioned, 12 step groups like Families anonymous, Al Anon, or Narc Anon may be helpful as well. A good basic reference book is Codependent no more by Melodie Beattie. Your daughter is 32 years old, she is the only one who can make a difference in her life. You are powerless. That powerlessness and lack of control over our adult kids is one of the hardest things to deal with......we believe if we just do this one magic thing we can make it better, but we can't, we don't have that power. YOU matter. YOUR life matters. YOUR relationship with your husband and your granddaughter matter. Focus on you and your family, make you and your family the priority. It sounds like you've done everything you can for your daughter, you've done enough. Many of us have to face the possible demise of our adult kids....I understand how devastating that is, I've had to do it myself. Sometimes, all we can do is let go.....and to that end, I would encourage you to find support in whatever fashion works for you. Hang in there.....you're not alone.....many of us have been in your shoes.....keep posting, it helps......I'm glad you're here. [/QUOTE]
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