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At My Witt's End
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 756556" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I'm sorry OW that I leaped to conclusions about the situation. So, they're separate. That makes it easier.</p><p>My son did this too. Walls, Doors. Refrigerators. In our situation I don't believe my son was using the walls, instead of me. I think he was full of anger that he could not contain, about himself, his situation, his own inability to make things work, to make his life work. Of course that may be different in your son's case. And that is not to say there are not dangers from violence against property. I ended up terrorized. Years and years of this, led me to be triggered by everything, with respect to my son. So. I do understand.</p><p></p><p>You're not doing this to them. Your daughter is. These are her children. Not yours. Did you have a part in their conception? Was it your idea? Of course not.</p><p></p><p>The best hope for these kids is that their mother steps up. What you're doing now is giving her space to do that. If you support her and take responsibility for her, she won't step up. You're giving her that opportunity and you're giving those kids a chance to have a real mother. Anyway, are you willing to be submit yourself to be destroyed? Of course not. How is it ever good for the cost to one person in a relationship, to be everything? That was the price you were paying, and me too.</p><p></p><p>So. Am I understanding now? Your son and his girlfriend live with you in a house you own? And that he has not physically hurt you directly or threatened to hurt you physically, to cause danger to you? </p><p></p><p>I'm a little concerned about your son. In my own situation things have gotten sticky around having to move out. I've had to have the cops come a number of times. I had to do a notice of trespass. I thought about a restraining order. Even with all of that, my son squatted in the backyard a number of times and I could not get control over the situation. This went on, off an on more than a year!! I don't recommend this. Like I wrote above (though I got the situation mixed up) I suggest a plan, with plan A, B and fallback, and maybe even understanding your legal situation first.</p><p></p><p>Other people here will know way better than I do, but I'm coming from the place of thinking things through up front.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 756556, member: 18958"] I'm sorry OW that I leaped to conclusions about the situation. So, they're separate. That makes it easier. My son did this too. Walls, Doors. Refrigerators. In our situation I don't believe my son was using the walls, instead of me. I think he was full of anger that he could not contain, about himself, his situation, his own inability to make things work, to make his life work. Of course that may be different in your son's case. And that is not to say there are not dangers from violence against property. I ended up terrorized. Years and years of this, led me to be triggered by everything, with respect to my son. So. I do understand. You're not doing this to them. Your daughter is. These are her children. Not yours. Did you have a part in their conception? Was it your idea? Of course not. The best hope for these kids is that their mother steps up. What you're doing now is giving her space to do that. If you support her and take responsibility for her, she won't step up. You're giving her that opportunity and you're giving those kids a chance to have a real mother. Anyway, are you willing to be submit yourself to be destroyed? Of course not. How is it ever good for the cost to one person in a relationship, to be everything? That was the price you were paying, and me too. So. Am I understanding now? Your son and his girlfriend live with you in a house you own? And that he has not physically hurt you directly or threatened to hurt you physically, to cause danger to you? I'm a little concerned about your son. In my own situation things have gotten sticky around having to move out. I've had to have the cops come a number of times. I had to do a notice of trespass. I thought about a restraining order. Even with all of that, my son squatted in the backyard a number of times and I could not get control over the situation. This went on, off an on more than a year!! I don't recommend this. Like I wrote above (though I got the situation mixed up) I suggest a plan, with plan A, B and fallback, and maybe even understanding your legal situation first. Other people here will know way better than I do, but I'm coming from the place of thinking things through up front. [/QUOTE]
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